omg....HE'S A VIRGIN???

SHE SAID... So David you're 23.. Excuse me for saying this.. Extremely blessed in the looks department.. Educated.. funny.. AND you love the Lord.. how have you managed to not get sucked into a womans bed?

HE SAID... First off, thank you for the compliments. You're too kind! I would say that the easiest place to start on this issue is my foundation. I come from a very humble, old fashioned background. I have always believed in chivalry and true love. As a kid first learning about sex, I always said that I at least wanted to be in love with my partner. When I was about 15 a youth minister at my church began conducting Bible Studies that allowed me a Biblical perspective on sex. From that point, I made a pact with God that I would wait until I was married. As you will find out, it has been a long, difficult path, but I am doing just fine.

SHE SAID... Do you date?

HE SAID... Lol yes I date. I date a lot actually. The reason I date so much is that some girls will lose interest in a guy that they know they have no chance of consummating a relationship with. Men and women thrive on sex to such an extent that it becomes a critical element in our decisions to date someone or dump them, or even more radical, to mess around with someone outside of the relationship. Sex is just such a complication!!

SHE SAID... wait HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CHEATED ON????

HE SAID... To my knowledge, I have not been cheated on. I can't say definitively that I have not, but by the same token, by not having sexual ties with any of these women, I have escaped a lot of emotional trauma associated with break ups. Thank God for that!!

SHE SAID... Have you experienced a "Jezebell" have women tried to seduce you? How close have you come to falling? What made you stop?

HE SAID... Well I am not one who particularly cares for the spotlight, so I have avoided a vast majority of the temptresses because of that. However I am a former college athlete, and we are aware of the gravitation towards enetertainers. I would like to take the blame for my near falls though. I have placed myself in some terrible situations. The only thing I could say for the fact that I didn't fall is that GOD permeated my soul and spoke through my mouth, telling them that I did not want to do it. For that, I am grateful.

SHE SAID... WOW that's respectable and admirable... especially as an athlete. People always say "You wouldn't buy a car without test driving it first"... What do you say to them? What about you.. will you really marry a woman without knowing if she is good in bed?

HE SAID... Well as far as knowing if a woman is "good" or not, I'm operating under the assumption that I won't know the difference lol. In fact, I'm almost certain that she will be the best ever in my opinion. This is just my theory, but I think that is what God had in mind when he confined sex to marriage. If each of us only had ONE sexual partner, we wouldn't have anyone to compare our partner to, thus relieving us of adultery and a large percentage of divorce. We must learn contentment at some point. Test drive a car, fine, but men and women are of far more value, and should not be treated or compared with cars.

SHE SAID... Oh so the whole the best sex is blessed sex is your theory ok ok I got you... so would you marry a woman that had already before had sex?

HE SAID... I'd definitely say the best sex is blessed sex. We try to do too much, and we try to rationalize too many things. Not sure, but I'd say God had a pretty good idea of what he was doing when he implemented these things...much better than anything we can alter and desensitize ourselves from.

I would absolutely marry a woman who has had sex before. I have no issue with one who chose not to wait, so long as she is comfortable with the decision that I have made, and has had adequate time to reflect on her past sexual encounters.

SHE SAID... what would you tell a brother that has decided to wait but thinks it's not worth the wait anymore?

HE SAID... Brothers, THE ONLY TIME YOU KNOW SHE IS THE ONE FOR YOU IS WHEN YOU HAVE ENTERED INTO A MARITAL COVENANT. LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH. We are tricked into thinking that we love someone and that it will last forever. That may be true, but it may not be true. If you want to wait for that one woman that God has for you, do not be fooled at the first sign of love. I don't have a crystal ball, but I am banking on the fact that it will be worth the wait. I advise everyone else who shares similar sentiments to do the same.

SHE SAID... Thank you David for being so open and honest about your sex life. Not a lot of men out there are willing to admit "I'm a virgin" and actually be happy or proud of it!!! Even if you are not a virgin.. it's not to late to stop having sex.. Celibacy is a beautiful thing... and I encourage you all to stop giving into your flesh and actually WAIT..!!!!

WE'RE JUST FRIENDS

SHE SAID:... Girl stop trippin "we're just friends" "oh that's just the homie" "you dont have to worry about her she's like a sister" HOLD UP... how many of you have heard that ever so famous line? And how many of you have fallen for it? OK so she's like a sister huh? Have you had sex with her? Yes? So you expect me to be okay with you hanging out with a female that you have had sex with and I'm just supposed to be comfortable with that? Excuse me how would you feel if I just brought all my lil homies around that I've had sex with.. BUT WAIT they are like my brothers... LOL come on guys... Where is the respect in a relationship. I get it you guys have a bond... more like a SOUL TIE... please PLEASE dont bring that soul tie into our newly found relationship. OK so the question is.. CAN GUYS AND GIRLS REALLY BE JUST FRIENDS????

HE SAID: My co writer is so messy! I mean...honest, but messy. Now let's employ just a bit of honesty first. How many of us, while in a relationship, have friends of the opposite sex? *raises hand* Let me tell you why I agree and disagree at the same time. There is a group of girls in my life whom I love dearly, and no, I have not had sex with any, so this disqualifies me from the "soul ties" notion. Now suppose that I enter into a relationship in the future...should I drop the friends that I have acquired previously, just for the sake of safety? It may realistically be for the best, but it's not gonna happen lol. These girls truly are sisters to me, and while I know the risk, I am not willing to sacrifice them. The issue becomes the foundation that we have laid. No matter how platonic a friendship is, the mere fact that we get close to an individual makes us see them in another light. Where she may have lacked compatibility before, she has compensated in areas that we can't explain. It also provides a figure of the opposite sex to compare your new bf/gf to. I know I am not doing much in rationalizing to keep the friends, but I'm just outlining the risks. I'm still not giving up my friends...sorry. The bond of a LEGITIMATE, loving friendship, one that did not involve the backwards philosophies of our society, is far too valuable to give up for someone that came after.

*SIDENOTE* THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FRIENDS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX ACQUIRED AFTER A RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN SUSTAINED...NOW YOU KNOW YOU ARE WRONG FOR THAT LOL

SHE SAID.... now now now why the low blows.. LOL... but I NEVER SAID a man and woman cant be friends.. my point was a person that has had sexual relations.. OF COURSE the friends we have acquired along the way in life go with us forward. Knowing the risks of a male/female friendship these friends have to know boundries.. They have to respect our significant other and the relationship. NOW if you say she's just a friend and I see something CLEARLY is wrong.. like her sending you naked pics or texts that would cause me to ask what the real deal is... then there's a problem. BUT if a person truly respects your relationship then they are A REAL FRIEND.. Now... with that being said... do you go and spend a bunch of "alone" time with them? I would hope not. If you cant take your friends around your girl.. then why do you have her or them.. if the 2 cant exist in your life together then there's a HUGE PROBLEM..

NOW back to the sexual relations.. so many times guys and girls try to bring a person who they casually see, into a relationship. Oh that's my friend.. She's like a sister to me.. oh really so when did we start sleeping with our sisters? FOR REAL lets just be honest... can you honestly say that you would be ok with your g/f and potential wife bringing a man into your life that she has had sex with and now just spends "casual" time with him.. That man has been with her, seen things only her husband should see.. NOW this is not to be confused with a baby dad, father of her children, or whatever she calls him. You cant get rid of him so dont try BUT if they dont have kids together.. there should be NO reason why they should insist on keeping this person in their life. Its awkward and 8 out of 10 times there are some kind of feelings there. She knows they just use to be booty calls but now she sees him and how he acts with his girl... she's def gonna try and get that back... cause afterall she did have him first... awkward family dinner huh... *crickets...

HE SAID: Lol @ crickets. I will address these first and second paragraphs respectively.

Each woman in my life has served as significant purpose in stimulating my growth as a person, as a man of God. That makes each functional in her own right. Not to sound as if I disagree with your suggestion, only that I disagree lol. The reason it almost becomes imperative to keep our true friends separate generally lies in the very open, outspoken opinion of your gender. I can understand initial discomfort, but sometimes "she" can be so petty. Why would I want that drama? For that reason each woman exists, but coexistence may be pushing it at times. Not that I don't make the effort, but if it becomes awkward or forced on my part, I will do what needs to be done. For instance, I am friends with my best friend's boyfriend. He is a cool dude. Now if anyone had a reason to be insecure, he doesI need for two parties engaging in a relationship to be secure PLEASE!!

Regarding your second point, I defer completely. You will get no arguments from me when it comes to the sexual element. I guess I am fortunate to not have been placed in any of those situations thus far, so I have never had to have that talk with anyone. Frankly, I find that downright disrespectful to your partner because indirectly, you are suggesting that they are ignorant. Who, in his right mind, would be cool with you having a "brother/sister" that you reached an intimate level with? I guess more people than I think, or this conversation wouldn't be going on.

SHE SAID... ok.. see now I do understand where you're coming from. I do agree to a certain extent. A lot of women are caty and territorial. We dont want the thought of our man spending time with another woman ALONE. Now... if a woman cant accept your friends who are truly your friends... then she shouldn't be your woman she needs to go back to the drawing board and fix some things in herself. BUT if she is trippin on you cause she's not comfortable with you being friends with chics you use to have sex with then she's not on the wrong. YOU ARE for keeping these chics around. Now if your friends aren't ok with your chic then there's a problem.. either there's some feelings that are there you didn't realize.. OR there's something wrong they see with your chic. I'm not gonna tell my man that he has to be friends with my guy friends.. or vice versa BUT what I am gonna do is let him know the option is there. Am I gonna go out kickin it with a bunch of dudes NO I'm not that's not right. Why would I want to put my relationship in such a situation. I've been known to want to bring my guy friends around my boyfriends because for real I love them they have been there for me for a lot of stuff. If my boyfriend decides hes not gonna be cool with them that's his fault. Maybe we need to reevaluate US.

You bring up a good point about obtaining friends of the opposite sex after the relationship has started. You're wrong for that... As Christians we find ourselves witnessing to a lot of people and 2 people that come together with God as their foundation know those temptations dont go away. So dont allow yourself to get into situations that you can fall. Women tend to fall for a man that is strong in the Lord who is witnessing and ministering to them. We see pastors falling today because they got weak and spent a little too much time with a person of the opposite sex. Its really important that we have open relationships with our significant other. To be able to come to them and say look this is the situation. This girl is struggling and as a man I know it's not my place to be ministering to her I think you should do this. If she's capable. NOW if that chic walks away then you definitly know it wasn't about God it was about her flesh and she used God to get closer to you. Unfortunetly a lot of people get attracted to our anointings.

What happened to days when couples double dated? When we got together and hung out as families and had adult nights?

HE SAID: What happened? I'm not certain that I can answer that question, but the bottom line here for me is TRUST. We are speaking in terms of a foundation founded on the rock of Christ. If we truly accept that our partner is engaged in the same walk that we are, we should trust them until they prove otherwise. If they happen to prove otherwise, they have not slighted us, but they have slighted God, and HE will protect us. With that being said, don't be afraid of every situation that seems unnatural. Realize that there is a level of respect you would like when it comes to your friends, and give a reciprocal level of respect. I believe that friendship exists outside of relationships...don't prove me wrong lol.

Is God In My Mate? How Can I Tell?

SHE SAID... everyday I hear women say how bad they want a good man not just a good man... they want a good Godly man.. but how many really know what traits a Godly man possesses?? Why do you want a Godly man? As a Christian woman we should want a Godly man who first loves God and doesn't put us before his relationship with Him. If the man that you find yourself attracted to has an extreme love for God, you have a really good start!!!

One sign that a man is truly a man of God is his love for the Word... LADIES.... you should be excited about a man that knows his bible.. Not only does he know it but he lives it. The bible is our tool it's our words from God to us. Instructions on how to live life. If a man knows the word he knows how to LEAD he knows that as a virtuous woman you are valuable you are precious. Oh what a wonderful union with a man that can truly LEAD and knows how to lead under authority of our Father. This man who is a lover of the word will not steer you in the wrong direction because he knows the word. He offerce correction based on the word and can show you. He also makes you want to push to know the word more and studies it with you!!!

Now if a man is not a lover of the word think of how much will be missing in your relationship. If he doesn't know the words of our Father how can he even lead you and your home? How can he know what to do in times of trials? Ladies be mindful when meeting a man. Know him. Watch his love for the word!

HE SAID: You have taken words directly from my mouth! Something to be mindful of, which I will address particularly for a Godly man, is that trap woman. Outside of Jesus, I would contend that woman is God's most wonderful, beautiful creation. As such, they realize the inherent power that they have in a dating scenario. "Can't live with em, can't live without em." Possessing such value to your Godly man, many women will come along professing a faith similar to yours. MAKE SURE TO PAY ATTENTION! If, at any given time, she appears to love aspects of the relationship more than she loves and thirsts for God, make an immediate emergency exit lol.

Wait...this is about Godly attributes huh? Fellas, as difficult as they may be, make sure that boundaries are in place for your relationship. More specifically, make sure that these are boundaries that have been agreed on, rather than boundaries that you simply imposed upon her against her will. *It sounds weird to even think of a man setting boundaries, but a GODLY man encourages them, primarily because he plans to one day be the head of a household, and he does not want to lead his special woman down a path that does not please God. If you want a woman to follow you, be someone worthy of being followed!* Back to the boundaries. Since our biggest challenges all revolve around sexual temptation, be mindful of limitations that she applies regarding the physical progression of a relationship. Odds are that if there are no physical limitations (touching, kissing, even meeting hours), THE TWO OF YOU BECOME MORE SUSCEPTIBLE TO FALL. Limitations suck, but they should be encouraged! I'm paraphrasing, but my co-writer tweeted yesterday that the things the world sees as bondage (limitations), a Christian sees as freedom. Get free yall!

SHE SAID... how amazing is my co writer I just have to give him props for standing up and telling men that boundries are a necessity. Not just necessary for the growth of the relationship but also OUR SALVATION. Ladies if a man doesn't have boundries he is more then likely willing to go all the way he's just waiting for one of those nights you stay a little longer then you should. Keep in mind the later at night we stay over at his house and the longer we stay alone with him the easier it is to fall into temptations. Kissing goes to feeling, feeling goes to well you all know what happens. Lets be Mindful of limitations and boundries that we HAVE to have! Plus in the end... a beautiful blessed marriage also includes beautiful blessed sex!!!

Now on to our second point!! A Godly man is transparent and humble. He strives for humility. One of the biggest parts of this point is how he serves. No I'm not saying a man has to be a slave come on now ladies, BUT Jesus came to the world to SERVE NOT to be served. We are to be Christ-like. Which means we need to be servants. If a man professes to be Godly but doesn't have a serving bone in his body... then the probability he is not a Godly man, is pretty high. If he flaunts his money, uses his looks, finds tithing to be a waste of his time, you need to quickly leave the situation. Ladies.. a true man of God is striving to be Christ-like daily. He doesn't hold back he's humble. meek. He isn't afraid of his past or where he has come from. He is open about his testimony. He knows that God is who brought him to where he is and isn't afraid or ashamed to scream it from the roof tops.

In being humble this Godly man is not afraid to seek Godly counsel. He knows in front of our Father on his knees is where he is going to find answers and isn't afraid to take your hand and go there. Prayer life is a huge sign that he is a Godly man. If he cant kneel with you in prayer to get through the hard stuff or even to just praise God.. GIRL RUN... he's not a Godly man. A Godly man knows his life is nothing without our KING and the only way to get to him is through prayer. He's not too proud to say he doesn't know and needs to pray. His pride isn't so strong that he wont go to God when you guys are arguing. I cant stress how important prayer is in a relationship. We talked about what foundation is your relationship built on last time and now is the time to make sure and confirm that your relationship is built on God. You do that through prayer and knowing and living the Word.

HE SAID: Aww you flatter me! I'm just speaking from experience. We all know about P31 women, Proverbs 7 warns against a particular caliber of woman, one capable of enticing us simple minded, easily arousable male creatures (sorry, but it's the truth). Stay out of that woman's bedroom. Better still, stay out of that woman's house, grasp, presence...I think yall get it. Because if you begin to lust over her, your next thought will be "might as well act on it" lol. Ok enough about the P7 woman.

"Jesus came to the world to SERVE NOT to be served." That is simple. I won't tell anyone not to enjoy luxuries to an extent, but be careful what you will do to attain these luxuries! I can almost assure you that these characters in Hollywood, as well as professional athletes, that we consider "cocky" came from some semblance of humble beginnings. Material acquisition has a way of so subtly altering our values. THIS is the reason that we should be humble, and under that same umbrella, strive for modest lifestyles as servants of the Lord.

Now that we realize the value of humility, a relationship in which you are humble and your partner is not is almost destined to crash and burn. She will have a much better shot at relaxing your values than you will of impressing yours on her. As I mentioned earlier, a Godly man or woman will not love their relationship more than they love God, and as a result, he will not seek answers to any relationship trials in anyone but God. Now that is humility. Knowing, as it appears in Galatians 6, "If you think you are something WHEN YOU ARE REALLY NOTHING, you are only deceiving yourself."

Sidenote regarding not loving your relationship more than God...when the two of you enter into a union that incorporates God in EVERY facet imaginable and your treatment of each other reflects such, you will truly be able to love your partner because you are essentially loving the Godliness that they portray.

SHE SAID... how do I even try to say anything after what you said.. PRAISE GOD.. WOW our relationships should ALWAYS glorify God!! How amazing of a feeling knowing that you're equally yoked and you both are bringing glory to our Father with what we do.. AMAZING..but LADIES dont be that woman in Proverbs 7 she is not who we should be tailoring our lives to.

BUT lets go to our third and final quality... HE IS NOT WILLING TO COMPROMISE HIS FAITH OR ASK YOU TO COMPROMISE YOURS... LADIES if he's willing to let you compromise your faith to satisfy his own fleshly desires he's NOT as Godly as you may think.... a Godly man knows his salvation is NOT worth a few minutes of pleasure. He wont ask you to sin either. I know from experience, a man who is not true to his walk with Christ is not going to be true to you.. and LADIES he's not the man for you. A Godly man wont settle knowing that what God has for him is the best. He wont settle for a woman who is mediocre in her walk with God. He wont waiver on that either... Ladies...a man who is stronger in the Lord then you could actually be a major blessing in your life. His knowledge should exite you..

A Godly man isn't as hard to find as you think.. but like my co writer said ladies.. be what attracts a Godly man... but know that you will also be desired by luke warm Christian men. Keep your eyes open. Make sure he's walking his talk. Does he open his Bible A LOT. Can he recite scriptures. Does he give you an immediate answer when you ask him why he loves God so much.. Does he club, party, and drink? Come on you know that a Godly man is not going to put himself in a place that is unholy and could cause him to fall. How is his prayer life? Does he lead you to want to know more of Jesus or are you guys skipping church on Sunday? Are you guys compromising your values just to get a "lil bit closer." Does he lack self control? How is he when he waits for the Lord to answer? Is he forgiving or is he holding onto a past that is causing him to be bitter. Ladies dont be fooled... Keep your eyes open and your hearts listening to GOD. Watch the signs Be discerning and alert! Dont let your flesh control you!

HE SAID: Nothing. Lol. Don't you hate when your co-writer is so dope that she doesn't leave anything for you to say LOL!! Shoot all I was going to say is that if he/she will cheat on God then he/she will cheat on you. Beat me to it!! Be cognizant of these questions that she just asked as well, as they can be tell tale signs. Be encouraged saints. He/she will come, just make sure that you are doing the things necessary to be ready when he/she gets there. God Bless!!

What Foundation is Your Relationship Built On?

HE SAID: I am all for honesty, so before you hit me with the cliche, I suggest taking some time to examine facts. An old quote that I have used in my writing, "I think we employ too much society and not enough God in our relationships." As a result of this notion, we end up engaging in unions that we should not, and we end up staying in unions that we shouldn't. Ask yourself...Does it have to do with the time invested and the potential to view this as a wasted relationship? Are we such hopeless romantics that we KNOW it will work out in the end? Or can it be tied back to the soul ties that we have acquired? As children of God, we should realize that our dating pool will NEVER be as large as others, for the simple fact that our lifestyles will not match up with the masses. We are advised in 2 Corinthians 6:14, "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?"

And if we receive these words, but feel for some strange reason that we are capable of being the one individual on earth who can weather the dating storm and change the individual that we are with, this serves as a reality check. I will be the first to say that I have ignored such advice, and it caused me quite a bit of turmoil in my relationship. I believed that she could grow to the level of faith that I had acquired, and I was wrong. It was the other way around. My partner and I weren't even having sex, but nonetheless I began to notice a change in my behavior that I know God would not be pleased with. It is much easier to live in darkness, with no rules, than it is to live a life of righteousness. With that knowledge comes the point of not being unequally yoked. Those displaying lawlessness have a potential to bring us down to their level of behavior. Be sure, before entering into uncharted territory, that you and your partner have established God as the focus of your union. "Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain." (Psalm 127:1)

SHE SAID....so many women are willing to compromise just a little bit to get what it is they have been wanting their whole lives... when I say compromise I am saying compromising their faith.. the one thing we shouldn't compromise we do. True there is a lack of "godly" men and women out there but we as Kingdom Reps have to stand strong on the promises of God. We ourselves cannot change anyone we have to first be changed and then wait for our Lord to bring us the man/woman he has intended for us.

Too often we spend our time trying to make something work with someone that wasn't meant for us. Our foundations crack and shake.. they eventually crumble and the whole time we were spending on the wrong person the "right" person has probably passed us by a few times. We spend so much time forcing something we lose focus of what is really important and that is Gods Glory. If our relationships dont first honor God then he will not honor our relationship. 9 our of 10 times we think we can change someone. That we can get them to our level of faith, but the result usually ends up being they have brought us down to their levels... skipping church, not praying, sometimes even having sex... a formula for definite destruction.

HE SAID: Soooo true! And the change takes place so gradually that we fail to realize that our once solid foundation, built upon the rock of our Lord and Savior, has been dismantled pebble by pebble, until that one pebble sends the entire house down in shambles. Now add insult to injury. Ultimately, that time that you skipped church, neglected to pray, or consummated the relationship outside the confines of God's intentions WILL NOT MAKE HIM/HER STAY. If you were the one getting them to represent your Christian values, they would be gone in a heartbeat. So why not use that as the motivation for resisting to conform to their values, for the sake of salvaging the relationship. Salvage that relationship, and sacrifice a relationship with God? No thank you! You can only make one stay who has previously decided to approach life similarly to yourself, especially when it comes to faith and religion. Resist the urge to attach yourself emotionally to those who do not enhance your walk with Christ.

SHE SAID... find someone who compliments you not supplements something missing. If we come as a whole person to a relationship and what we offer is pure we dont have to worry about our foundations crumbling because we know that God is our focus. A relationship has to be built on God first. Then and only then will it last. BUT making it last is going to take work. You will face attacks and nay sayers. You will face tempations and tests. Remember God is the FOCUS glory should be brought to him through the way we live our lives both individually and collectively. If someone is willing to compromise their salvation just for a few moments of pleasure then you should quickly run to the exit. Dont stay because they could easily talk you into it. All it takes is a look a few touches and there it goes...

Our foundations that are built on God will not crumble unless we let them!!

Soul Ties... lives tangled together.. Breaking the Unholy Ties that Bind us

SHE SAID: We are busy confusing Love with Lust... Laying down with different men and women.. allowing our hearts.. our souls to become one with someone and then on to the next when we're fed up and bored.. tired of seeing their face leaving an emptiness that cant be replaced.. yearning to find something more... BROTHERS AND SISTERS.. soul ties are REAL.

God said to save ourselves until marriage. He said it for a reason. He warns us!! When we have sex with someone else we become one with them. How many men can a woman actually become one with before she loses everything about herself? How many men must have a piece of you before you realize that you're no longer the woman God created you to be? Soul ties bind to exactly that OUR SOULS they knit together.

I personally have experienced the havoc of soul ties. So many pieces of my soul had went with others to the point that I was truly broken. I didn't know how I'd ever get back all the pieces, But in this day so many men pressure women to just do it... so many women are getting paid for it.. it's become nothing to most.. What do we have to lose? It's just sex... and our children are having sex younger and younger.. 13 and 14 even younger imagine how many soul ties that little girl will have by the time she's graduated high school. The confusion that sets in the anger the resentment towards the men who have willingly taken a piece of us as they slipped their pants on and left.

HE SAID: What a tangled web we weave...I mean it literally. We've all heard these things before, but there appears to be no better teacher than experience. I know it feels good. I know it's advertised everywhere, seen on every television program, imbedded deep in the core of the music industry, but what does God say? If we were to consider one greater character flaw than any other, it would be that we believe ourselves to be impregnable to the woes of the "average man/woman". We think every other person is susceptible to man's plight, particularly when it comes to sex. Generally speaking, we are all wired the same way as humans, and each sexual partner that we have adds a little to distorted mental make up, while subtracting from the Godly soul that we were entrusted with.

Why does God advise against sexual immorality in general, and more specifically, sex outside the confines of marriage? I would contend, though this is my opinion, that the answer can be found in the domestic violence, keyed cars, suicide, etc that stems from some sort of relationship. We fail to realize that the potential behind these relationships, though they may appear harmless, can very well prohibit us from letting go of situations that God may be trying to deliever us from. And all this for the simple fact that there now rests a bit of our soul in that individual. We are meant to be unified with one individual, that being our marital partner. Period.


Check out this amazing YouTube done on SoulTies
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPSFyZONEco

When a mans fed up... You just dont know what you got till its gone...

HE SAID... A good man finally comes into your life - Taking care of you mentally. You know he is faithful, He takes you out, he respects you as a woman, he sacrefices some of his wants to make you happy, but something just not right huh ladies... Its just too good to be true huh? "The ten guys I dated before cheated, used me for my money, or he just want to spend time together after 11pm, so this new guy is wierd, I think its just too much." So what do you want from a man? What can a good man do to not be taken for granted? I have been in this situation plenty of times - I do everything a man should in a relationship, shes not used to it and decides there has to be something im hiding, break up, and sooner or later I get a call and have to sit and listen to a regret story. As a man the reason why I have no remorse is because when we dated I was all in, and when you left it killed me. Just like you ladies feel when a guy leaves you. A good man feels 10 times worse because we could easily be out running women and in todays society and we wouldnt even be frowned upon - But we give it all up for you and you leave because its too good to be true - Help me understand....

SHE SAID:... OKAY let me break this down coming from a woman who use to be this exact girl. See I didn't know how to treat a good man every single one that came along I couldn't handle him. I couldn't handle him because I couldn't handle myself.. See women put up a wall and when they do it's built of broken and bitterness. Its a wall that is hard to tear down and cant be torn down by anyone but God. BUT she has to be willing to let God bring it down. Women too often let a man affect them and how they treat others. Its a vicious cycle..  A few men come along they dog her she gets defensive and paranoid that the next one will do it.. and before he can hurt her she pushes him away... and for a lot of them they have heard every line and been down every road. Thru every situation and every game has been spit at her to the point that she has better game then a guy. Most guys aren't willing to let go of every single female he messes with because he's afraid he wont have a plan b if plan a doesn't work out and that makes a woman uneasy and unsettled. After she finally gets rid of this dog that she has allowed into her life she's mad, frustrated, broken, and unable to heal. So she quickly jumps into the next relationship and this time he's a good man, but she's still hurting from the last one because she didn't allow the time to heal so the good guy gets it used against him. He has to fight her and argue to try and prove himself and since he's tryin to prove himself she thinks he's up to something.

Women have a horrible way of breaking men down and unfortunetly breaking some of them and the result is a good man gone bad. I see it all too often... BUT the thing I also see is good men putting themselves in a situation that they clearly see that this woman is not the right one and she's clearly not ready for a relationship but because she's got a cute face and is good in bed he sticks it out. GUYS if a woman is with you and she is broken and clearly not ready for a relationship DONT STAY word of advice she cant heal with you there.. she needs the time to be alone..with GOD.. you should be her friend and encourage her not block her from healing and you being there will... I dont get it why do guys stay? Why do guys stick it out with the bad females? Why dont they see that there is someone who is going to treat them better out there and walk away.. if you're not married to her... there's no reason why you cant leave...

HE SAID: First date - I set up a picnic in a nice park - Christmas came around - I tied a promise ring to a Helium Balloon and put it in a box - When she opened it the balloon floated up with the ring dangling below - She was gone to a conference for a week and before she flew back - I snuck into her apartment and had flowers at the door step and a candle lit dinner prepared - Valentines day... She opens her door and a black poodle puppy comes running to her. I was faithful, told her she was beautiful, always provided when need be, and... im single haha. This stuff is coming from a man who had a rotation of women at U of H and I know that sounds horrible but I want to show you the things I changed and what I have grown from. Even after we broke up I read statuses like "This is the first time I have been content in awhile", WHAT MORE DID YOU WANT??? I would never talk bad about anyone I have dated in the past because that says alot about me - I chose you to be in my life and if you are such a horrible person then that reflects my choices. Women try so hard to save face in front of the friends who wish they were in your position in the first place.

Men stay in those relationships because we feel that if you as a woman has been through sooooo much with these bad men - You should know what a good man is right?? We look at it so simply. You were done wrong - Im a man who clearly wont do you wrong - You were cheated on - Im a man who wont cheat on you...etc. As a man I feel like if ten men did you wrong then you should be head over heels for the 1 man that is actually treating you right. Seems like women can only spot a bad man but couldnt spot a good man if he came up and handed you a bouquet of flowers

SHE SAID:.. A woman cant fully grasp onto a good man until she's completely healed.. A woman that constantly talks about her ex is not ready to move on. Too many women are chasing a million dollar wedding and settling for a 2 dollar marriage.. for what? To end up broken hearted..?? Most women aren't ready to put in the effort it takes to keep a good man. Most expect something in return and most women cant give it or end up feeling inadequate. It takes a true woman of God to accept and appreciate a good man of God. A lot of men have yet to spot a good woman of God because few exist and they wonder why they are constantly getting pushed away. Its the truth that our generation is so broken and bitter and most wont grow out of it. Me personally I use to give so much of me but I gave it to keep a man I wasn't giving it because it was who I am I thought if I catered to my man and gave him good sex he wouldn't leave. I was a mess I was jealous and acted crazy and thought what I did was good enough why would you ever hurt me? That's where I was and I know there are a lot of women who are like how I was but you dont have to stay that way..

HE SAID... As a man of God i learned alot through my past relationship - I learned that i am capable of truly loving a single woman without the desire to disrespect my relationship whatsoever. I learned that Im able to sacrifice on my end to see the woman I care for flourish on the other end. I saw husband like qualities in myself through my relationship, and I thank her for bringing that out of me. I would like to see women put an end to the "There are no more good men comments." We are here - and that statement is highly immature and once again reflects back on you as a person and the decisions you make. Its just that you are too focused on the man who is telling you that you are sexy vs the man who is calling you beautiful. I always say - The next time i get in a relationship will be with a woman who was busy searching for Christ and in turn Christ will send me to her.

BEING VIRTUOUS IS HARD.. HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO DRESS??

SHE SAID:... Recently I was asked to speak on style and Christian living... Sooo... were told as women not to wear revealing clothing or tight pants.. skirts too short is a no no... but it seems like every where we look that's all women wear. Christian men are gawking at maxim magazine because that woman has no clothes on what are we suppose to do as virtuous women? How do men of God view this? What is too tight and too short? Cleavage?

AND what about all these men of God with their shirts off showing their bodies off.. isn't that a double strandard?

HE SAID:... I like this topic. To start off ask yourself two questions. When I get dressed am I attracting other men? Am i disrespecting the man I am with by my choice of clothing? You spoke on men of God gawking at half naked women in magazines but whats funny is I dont have to buy a magazine anymore to gawk at a half naked woman... I can just step outside of my apartment or log onto facebook. Many women in todays society want a man so bad to where they dont care how they attract him they just want the feeling of being wanted. By wearing tight revealing clothing you are attracting a man in a sexual manner. Is that really the type of image you want to give off before you even meet him. First thing he is seeing is your butt and breast and the initial thought is sex. so we get your number with the thought I cant wait to hit that. Tell you what you wanna hear and then your in the situation that you dont wanna be in. Call him a dog. But your initial move was attracting that man with your suggestive clothing. Now - to look at it on the otherside you can wear conservative clothing and look good and you know that when that man approaches you its not from the thought of sex but from the thought that he likes the fact that you are conservative. The next time you use the phrase men only want you for sex - think about how you attracted him in the first place. I would never approach a girl with a short skirt or would I approach a girl that has her breast revealed with a deep cut shirt. Respect yourself before you can expect to recieve respect from a man.

SHE SAID:... AMEN I am going to have to agree.. LADIES what is your motive when you put that short little skirt on? Are you revealing clevage for the purposes of guys seeing it? Lets think about it. If were putting on clothes for the purposes of a man lusting after us.. WERE DEAD WRONG. Not only are you being the temptress your also degrading yourself and your self respect. To many times I hear women say ALL MEN ARE DOGS... but what are you doing to attract men? HMMM .. Lets just break it down... Being a virtuous woman is so rare this day and age... Every woman wants to be beyonce and christina wearing pretty much nothing and getting every guy she can.. But do you know how dangerous that is.. A virtuous woman is one who is pure, who abstains from a sexual relationship other than with her husband, a woman who is not suggestive; she is free from obscenity and indecency; she is modest, pure and decent. How do you dress? Are you modest? What is modest? Properly, restrained by a sense of propriety; hence, not forward or bold; not presumptuous or arrogant; not boastful.  Be careful about how you dress. Dress to glorify the Lord not to draw attention from the eyes of men. When you get ready to go out, ask yourself these questions.

1. Are my clothes too tight- does it draw attention to the wrong areas?
2. Is it too short- when I sit, am I covered properly?
3. Does my shirt cover me or does it expose too much?
Ladies if you have an ounce of unsureness dont wear it.. PERIOD
How can a man respect you if you dont respect yourself? My co writer brings up a good point if you represent yourself as a suggestive female.. A man who is in the world is going to take what he can... FACT

..Remember A man may expect a woman to sell what she advertises. If she does not want to be propositioned, then she should not advertise.

The true meaning of the words "I Love You" and how understated those words really are coming from both genders mouths.

HE SAID: ... As a man of God when I see those three soooo simple words - but soooo complex words - put into a phrase - My mind goes into a thought process that alot of people would never imagine - Think about something that is Unbreakable - Unconditional - Agape - Undestructable - Unstoppable - Unsurpassable - Something that cant be broken by rumors or friends or family - absolutely nothing can break this LOVE. When it comes to the person I decide to attempt to bond myself with - I take all the time needed - with the most picky process - because thats what I want - I want perfection - I want something that is so rare in this world today. People have skewered meanings of these words - and the answer is so clear... I picked up my bible and re-read the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Jesus is the only person that can teach us how to love. Do you think they just all of a sudden tapped on Jesus's shoulder one day and said your going to die for these sinners?  He was crucified - beaten - whipped - spit upon - for the people today who cant even take time out of their day to get down on one knee and thank him. Is that not unconditional? Jesus Christ had to have a type of love that takes you past anything you could ever think of. So love in your relationship? Think about if you had the love that Jesus had for us when he died on the cross in your relationship! With that said do you think you are using the words "I Love You" Loosely?

SHE SAID:... When I read these words I instantly thought of a poem I found awhile ago... it goes likes this..
You cannot Love Jesus or the Father above,or anyone else without the True meaning of Love.

Love is enduring it is patient and kind; Love never wavers from the Truth so Divine.
Love is not jealous, boastful, or proud; Love is so gentle, so meek, it's so mild.
Love is not greedy for fortune or wealth; it cares more about others, and less about self.
Love is not forceful, it does not intrude; Love is not fretful, resentful, or rude.
Love is forgiving and forgetting a wrong; Love is not fearful, it is courages and strong.
Before you say that I Love you, behold and take heed; it's not in just words, but in thought, and in deed.
This meaning of Love is Faithful and True; So remember what it means too say I Love You !

The 3 little words I LOVE YOU hold so much meaning and value yet people have such low standards they apply to love. To truly love someone unconditionally as Jesus did is to overlook every fault.. every wrong they've ever done and truly just LOVE them.. Its nearly impossible for most to look past faults and love as Jesus did. Jesus' love was pure it was untainted.. how do we get to that place?? Woman are so broken and bitter tainted by their pasts they dont know how to love because they dont even love themselves.. and dont know how to.. how do we go from there? How do we get to the forever kind of love?

TRANSPARENCY

SHE SAID:... So tonight I'm sitting here and I have some things on my heart.. I cant guarantee that my co writer is going to respond. God is definitly leading this one.. most of you know and some dont about my past.. I have not always been saved.. I have not always been walking down the narrow path. I veered off and turned my back I did what I wanted to do and it wasn't about God it was about me. I have a past that not a lot of people could look passed.. BUT what I do know is that I'm forgiven. My life consists of illegal activities, sex, stripping, lust, drugs, alcohol, abortion, and divorce... WOW!!! Most will look down their nose at me like I'm some kind of lesser human.. but what I need to encourage you who needs this is... HONESTY I can honestly look at myself in the mirror and LOVE ME because I have been delivered I have been saved from the things of the world that consumed me. I can do this because I am honest.. I'm honest with everyone that asks me anything. But further more I need to encourage you to be honest with the people you are closest to. I say this because some people have said to me that they would never tell their man about their past.. BUT if that man is going to be your husband you need to realize... TRANSPARENCY is the most important thing you can be with them. If you are not honest and something comes up although they dont judge you they look at the situation that you didn't trust them enough to handle the news... Look I know you have been taught your whole life that you shouldn't tell your whole past to your man because they will use it against you.. Let me just tell you.. THAT'S A LIE the devil would LOVE for you to believe.. Trust is one of the most important things that a relationshiop must have in order for it to thrive and grow. If you cant be honest about your past you are not over it...If you cant face your past and openly speak about it.. You have no healed from it. I personally didn't think any man would ever understand my past so I ran from it I lied about it and everytime I was confronted about it I wasn't ready to face it so I kept lying about it... That is NOT a relationship you must heal no matter how scarred your past is you can overcome it.. and eventually when it's the right time and person you can tell it. God uses our pasts for his glory. Our testimonies.. our "sacred" scars.. but if you're holding back your holding back on Gods glory and if you are holding back in a relationship you're not allowing God to shine. Look I know it's hard to think about telling your boyfriend/future husband everything but if that man is truly a man of God and truly loves you there is nothing that is going to make him turn away.. it's a true test.. TRUST ME I was sitting in front of my pastor one day and I felt it was time to tell him everything with my man sitting right next to me I let it all go.. when I was done speaking my pastor looked at my bf and asked him "Did you know about all that?" With surprise in his eyes... My man looked at my pastor with complete confidence and NO judgement what so ever and said "YES!!" God had nothing but glory that day!! Although we are not together anymore thru that man God showed me I was forgiven and no matter who looks at me in judgement... they dont matter. All that matters is thru my honesty "transparency" he is being Glorified and I am being forgiven.. I cant tell you the feeling that I had that day... but I can tell you that you CAN have it.. but you have to be TRANSPARENT girl trust me if you cant be honest about your past with your man.. he is not YOUR man EVERYTHING comes to the light.. it's better if you are the one to tell him and not his homeboys, friends, family, or any other way... He will be hurt.. to feel that the one you love cant trust you with their deepest darkest secrets is a horrible feeling.. and when you're lying to your man you are allowing the devil his way into your relationship... If you never ever take any of my advice again... at least take this.. be TRANSPARENT... people will at least respect your honesty.. and when you're honest with yourself and God nobody else matters...!!!! Remember it's not about You it's always and forever will be about GOD...

I also would like to share this devotional that was sent to me immediately following the writing of my post!!! God is amazing in his ways
http://www.streamingfaith.com/index.php/prayer/devotionals/overcoming-the-enemy/

HE SAID:...I played football for U of H - Women came and women went - Didnt care who I hurt and how I effected their life - The amount of mistakes I made were countless - but one thing I can say is in my past relationship I disclosed all of them - I entrusted my partner with every Good thing ive done as well as the millions of mistakes i have made - and thats what drew me to her - her knowing my faults and still loving me for them - this is what links two people together without the action of sex - Each person knowing their partners strengths and their partners weaknesses - but my partner seemed to be flawless - no faults - no mistakes - perfect - so the connection was broken - i was tied to her because I informed her on my weaknesses and when someone knows you weaknesses you are drawn to them because you are vulnerable - and being that the only thing I was ever informed about was her strengths - she wasnt bonded to me - she wasn't tied to me - and thats why its so easy for that woman to walk away because you only gave me a resume - things that you are excellent at - As your man I wanna know your ins and outs - I want to know what makes you smile and what makes you cry - I want you to be linked to me in a honesty bond that lets me know you have invested in our relationship. Telling me all of your assets and not your liabilities isn't the way to go about it. When all these faults come to the light a man asks himself - Who are you? What else have you lied about? Can I trust you? - As a man if im able to tell you allllll the horrible things I have done - a woman should to - AND GUESS WHAT??? I will love you for it?

SHE SAID:.. see ladies.. and now gentlemen... it is so important for a relationship to work.. to not only be completely based on God but to be honest.. If your relationship grows on lies it wont last. If one of  you is completely open and honest and the other is holding back you cant move forward. Remember a lie builds a web of lies and you will constantly be looking back trying to cover stuff up and when you look back you are bound to stumble and will eventually fall. Bringing your relationship and other half down with you. Can you imagine as a woman being married for 20 years and then find out that your husband had been hiding things for years?? I know there is nothing a man can tell me that will keep me from being with him as long as he's the one that told me!! If my man can trust me enough to tell me his deepest darkest secrets that means he trusts me enough to forgive him!! I cant stress transparency enough. I challenge you today.. to go to your boyfriend, girlfriend, fiance and tell them what you have been hiding... then and only then can you move forward with clarity.. If God is truly your foundation and his glory is your focus this shouldn't be a problem because you will know without a shadow of a doubt that that other person is going to embrace your past and not leave ... if they do.. well then it wasn't what you thought it was :) I love you all.. and I"m praying for your transparency and truth!!!!!

Celibacy is a hard issue.. Sex is everywhere we look.. now what?

SHE SAID:.. I took a vow of celibacy but it's gotten to the point that every man I meet who claims to be living his life for God took out the whole "premarital" sex clause from his bible... What actually is a man looking for when he says he wants a virtuous woman?? You want it all but you dont want me to save myself for our wedding night? How does that work? So now what? You're going to cheat on me??

HE SAID:.. Look at it from a mans point of view - I personally have women throwing themselves at me here on campus and this includes the "Virtuous" ones - So I feel that the "virtuous woman" has lost alot of credit because it seems that they are "virtuous" only because they know how to keep their business a secret - The woman who used to have sex and now doesn't is still marked being that their are guys out there who have layed with you and to them you are not virtuous at all. To them you are hypocrit. So you meet a new guy and you tell him you are virtuous and is now celibate and I am out chillin with my home boys and one guy brings up your name not knowing we together and starts to name all the things yall did bragging - How do you think that makes your man feel? So its a question of you did all this stuff for him and he treated you like a dog and im treating you like a princess and you have no desire whatsoever. No man wants his woman to be known by many guys. One analogy.... Every guy you sleep with i put a nail in a wooden post.... When you turn celibate... I pull all the nails out... Even though the nails are gone.... There are still holes

SHE SAID: ... regardless of how many men I've been with in my past I've been forgiven by God and that's all that matters.. So why dont guys look at it that way? Yes sex is great and it's fun but once you give your life to God it's suppose to stop until your married. Its a fact there are not that many virgins in their 20s these days.. people aren't saving themselves.. But if I'm forgiven by God and have taken a celibacy vow.. Why dont guys respect that? Who cares what your boys say.. isn't it about keeping our relationship pure and glorifying God until the day we do take our vows to become one.. So your telling me guys want a virtuous woman but they want her to have sex? Isn't that a double standard? You want me to be a virtuous woman but you want me to have sex with you??????

HE SAID:... Thats not what im saying - You have to understand how hard that is for a man to sit and listen to what another man did to his girl. Im not supporting the man who pressures his girl to have sex with them. But in many instance women start out doing there thing with men and then do a 180 and say im done and what goes through our mind is "is she getting it somewhere else''. Thats just reality and I feel that if your going to be a virtuous woman BE that woman and not after you have gotten all you needed - On another note there are sooooo many women willing to give it up and there are soooooo many week men so its hard for me to speak for the whole male population and say we are all great guys and would never pressure a woman into it cause I know thats a lie - so I guess im in a bad predicament off top but you said it yourself there arent many virgin women out there and I feel that if yall arent respecting yourselves then why should we respect you, and you cant speak on behalf of yourself because you belong to a gender where 90% of the women ARENT VIRTUOUS

SHE SAID:... as a single celibate woman I know how hard it is to not have sex... I have been dumped because I wont give it up.. but I've been dumped by self proclaimed men of God who are leaders in the church.. soooo ummmm what then? What is a woman really to do.. if I dont have sex with you you're gonna dump me if I do have sex with you I'm not only disappointing myself but I'm disappointing God and my vow to him.. and YOURE NOT GONNA RESPECT ME... I'd rather save myself and lose you then lose myself and still lose you.. Men need to make up their minds.. but so do women if you're gonna serve God serve him in every aspect of your life... you cant pick and choose your virtues... it's all or nothing.. I personally fight this with every single person I even talk to.. they want this woman that's virtuous that's submissive that's gonna make a good wife and mother.. yet when the sex talk comes up and I say look I'm not having sex and that's my choice they walk.. REALLY? What's the deal?

HE SAID:... I want women to understand their worth. I sit and watch women in there mid Early 20's call themselves a "Bad B****" - Are you serious?? I turn on the radio and hear men telling masses of people that if you dont hit your girl with the "Daddy Stroke" you will lose her, and after he says it women scream Ayyyyee! Yes men have their faults and need to change BUT ultimately a woman has to know her worth and that the pain yall suffer through when you get cheated on or the drama that you get yourself into all comes from "Soul Ties" - This is what makes the man and woman ONE - and its supposed to come after marriage - so by you binding yourself to each and every man it slowly starts to lose its meaning - so when you do get married you arent one with person because sex is just sex - thats what this world portrays and thats what young adults are believing - Women should Re evaluate their worth because if the only reason they gave it up was because a man persuaded them to - I dont care what position you hold in the church he is not the man he says he his until he breaks that habit

SHE SAID:... I am going to have to agree... our society is saying be a barbie and independent chic... and bad B**** roll call and all the girls wanna stand up.. but the problem is also our rappers and singers are singing about the neighbors knowing his name and my side chic this my side chic that... saying its okay to be a side chic first off and second that it's okay to be a player.. ball players are on twitter hypin up making it rain at onyx and magic city... glorifying groupies on VH1 and MTV ocho cinco and ray j really puttin in work to say hey be a groupie have sex with me.. I'll give you this and that... how can a woman remain virtuous when virtuous isn't what men really want.. you become one with every person you sleep with.. and you give a piece of yourself away everytime.. praying for those soul ties to be broken is necessary but so is remaining celibate after those soul ties have been broken.. women tend to give up and give in to men because we are the weaker vessels. Desiring so bad to have a relationship she will sell herself short and pass up her blessings for someone she thinks she loves. Then later on finder herself bitter and broken and alone... Sex complicates relationships and blurs the truth ladies and gentleman I encourage you to stick to celibacy no matter how weak your flesh gets. There's rules that need to be set up to ensure as little temptation as possible.
  1. Dont be alone late at night with ur b/f or g/f truth the devils playground is at night
  2. All sex is sex if you're allowing yourself to lust after someone you've pretty much already had sex with them
  3. Oral sex IS SEX
  4. Pray when you're being tempted or overcome with the flesh
and keep this in mind.. God rewards obedience.. can you imagine what your sex will be like if you wait until marriage? I mean if you've had sex you know how great it is.. and that's in the flesh.. so if you wait to have sex and Gods blessing it.. THINK HOW AMAZING IT'S GOING TO BE.. better then what it would be if your in your flesh TRUST ME!!!

How does the current "Independent Woman" fit in relationship? and is this something that God wants?

HE SAID:...As an upstanding man I love a woman who has the mindset to handle her business - but it is hard to be a good man to a woman who constantly reminds you that she doesnt need you - I know there are a lot of men out there who arent handling their business but should others suffer from it?

SHE SAID:.. Would guys make up their minds... as women all we see on t.v. is guys proclaiming their love for I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T. women.. wait... THATS THE WORLDS VIEW.. as a woman of God I look upon this world and see so many lost young women and men.. Women who see a great majority of our men not handling their business they are too busy makin it rain in the strip clubs... havin babies and not takin care of them.. so a woman is forced to become independent for both themselves and their children...our country is in a difficult place little girls aren't being raised by a virtuous mom to understand that she is a gem and is to be treated that way. Little boys aren't being raised up by God fearing fathers who can teach them the importance of respect and love. Guiding them in how to raise a family and lead them, but also being led by God. No our boys are being raised by women and rap videos.. by twitter seeing our professional athletes tweetin about what strip club they are at. Our girls are seeing Nikki Minaj's and Beyonces acting like fools.. this is the reality we face. Its up to us as Christians and followers of Jesus to teach not only our children but others that being an Independant woman is not what God called us to be.. He called us as women to be helpers for our men.. to start in the home and making sure home is taken care of.. our babies need to know what time it is.. God didn't write WOMAN POWER... HEAR ME ROAR... he didn't intend for us to be that way. Women are walking around talking about there are no good men... but clearly... we as women are just making that GOOD MAN suffer for the pasts we have brought upon ourselves..

HE SAID... Exactly - "The worlds view" - As a man if I hype up the INDEPENDENT WOMAN then it sets it up just right because I can reap all the benefits of having a strong woman in my life with absolutely no commitment whatsoever - So while you women are bragging on your facebook Bios on how your an Independent woman you see that its nothing to brag about at all - Being in a loving relationship with a significant other has a lot more credibility than being a woman who pays for her own house and car but you cant get a man that loves you for more than a few hours out of the night - God didnt create Eve and tell her to survive on her own - Most women who claim to be die hard independent will definately end up independent - As an upright man who follows God I could never see myself with a woman who constantly attempts to take my role as head of the household and if you are such an Independent woman then accept the decision that YOU made as far as what man is in your life - YOU made the decision - So let him be that man - Otherwise alter what you are attracted to.

SHE SAID... BUT if you truly want that woman that actually understands her role as a woman in YOUR home which you are suppose to be leading as a man of God under Gods authority... are you READY for everything that comes with it. Are you ready to be the bread winner? Can you treat this woman as she should be treated? A crown to your head? You wouldn't take your crown off and throw it across the room would you? As a woman who has been both the independent woman and the Virtuous woman that God intended me to be I know that it is hard to find a man that truly grasps on to the whole submission/leading idea. While yes it is something a man wants is a woman to submit. Does he actually have the capability and desire to be the head of his house hold???? To lead is not so independent woman?!?!?!?!

HE SAID... Submissive Woman: A woman who knows that her husband or significant other is indeed a man of God and stands beside that man because she knows that he is a follower of God - But she has sense enough to know when her man is no longer on the right path and has a strong enough relationship with God to lean and depend on him.

A God Fearing Man: Is a man that leads his family according to Gods plan - He gets respect from the "submissive woman" (who is by far stronger than the Independent woman) because she knows and respects the fact that she is a man of God. As a man of God I could have not one red penny in my pocket BUT im still a bread winner. As a woman - when you are ready for love and that significant person in your life - Dont increase your time in clubs or bars so you can get more exposure - SEEK JESUS CHRIST - The bible says "When a man findeth a woman, he findeth a good thing" - Not the other way around. Let that God fearing man find you - and when he does its your decision whether you accept him - or listen to beyonce and boast your Independence

SHE SAID... I think I found my man of God LOL but on a real note... Being a submissive woman is a choice it's also an HONOR.. given to us by GOD .. Today the independent woman thinks being submissive is weak but in TRUTH submission is the best place you can be.. When you are under the authority of what God wills you are in the most powerful position you could ever have. My heavenly Father told me I'm above a diamond's worth and a gem doesn't seek … a gem is sought and cherished. As a woman, I know it's not my role to chase after or change a man. Esther 2:1-4 states that I am to wait on my King... if a man thinks you should chase him he's not the man for you. Ladies it is not up to you to change your man so if your man of God isn't doing what he's suppose to do... you need to go to God in prayer not nag that man he's more likely to listen to God then ur whinning :)

HE SAID... Now thats a statement I can agree with - I want to be able to confide in my wife to correct me when I am wrong or out of line with God - Thats why I will never say for the woman to follow but its a teamwork where the man is only in control "THROUGH CHRIST" and once he steps out of the grace of God he puts his family as a whole in danger because they are going off of his lead - being a submissive woman actually gives you empowerment and thats the fact that a lot of women are missing today. I want to see more women stepping up and learning to be that submissive woman BUT IT CANT HAPPEN UNLESS WE AS MEN STEP UP AND BECOME FOLLOWERS OF GOD AND GIVE THESE WOMEN REASON TO BE SUBMISIVE

SHE SAID... if a woman cant pray with or for her man what good is she? Seriously if you cant pray for me or with me we have nothing. A succesful relationship is based wholy on GOD and nothing more.. the bible clearly states that a woman is to submit to her husband. A lot of women even proclaimed "virtuous" women cringe at that word. SUBMIT?? ME?? NEVER... and walking around with that attitude is what is the first downfall of a woman. That's why eve did what she did she wasn't fully submitted to God she didn't trust him enough to let him know what was best for her. Yes a man has to find his place as well.. submission is an honor as I've already said.. it is a job given to women from God.. A lot of women are also feeling a lack of satisfaction with just being a mom and wife, but if you read a proverbs 31 woman is more she's virtuous shes actually SUCCESSFUL more successful then a independent woman because she has gained so much honor and integrity.. something an independent woman usually lacks because she is constantly seeking a man that isn't going to fit her mold she has created and if she finds one she's going to be too busy being independent and making sure she keeps her independence that it's going to push him away.. again leaving her ALONE... LADIES your good man is not in the club or slangin dope.. making his next rap video or anything else... stop looking and seeking... allow God to bring that man to you when you're all the way invested into God all you're going to get is his best... so work on being your best..