WE'RE JUST FRIENDS

SHE SAID:... Girl stop trippin "we're just friends" "oh that's just the homie" "you dont have to worry about her she's like a sister" HOLD UP... how many of you have heard that ever so famous line? And how many of you have fallen for it? OK so she's like a sister huh? Have you had sex with her? Yes? So you expect me to be okay with you hanging out with a female that you have had sex with and I'm just supposed to be comfortable with that? Excuse me how would you feel if I just brought all my lil homies around that I've had sex with.. BUT WAIT they are like my brothers... LOL come on guys... Where is the respect in a relationship. I get it you guys have a bond... more like a SOUL TIE... please PLEASE dont bring that soul tie into our newly found relationship. OK so the question is.. CAN GUYS AND GIRLS REALLY BE JUST FRIENDS????

HE SAID: My co writer is so messy! I mean...honest, but messy. Now let's employ just a bit of honesty first. How many of us, while in a relationship, have friends of the opposite sex? *raises hand* Let me tell you why I agree and disagree at the same time. There is a group of girls in my life whom I love dearly, and no, I have not had sex with any, so this disqualifies me from the "soul ties" notion. Now suppose that I enter into a relationship in the future...should I drop the friends that I have acquired previously, just for the sake of safety? It may realistically be for the best, but it's not gonna happen lol. These girls truly are sisters to me, and while I know the risk, I am not willing to sacrifice them. The issue becomes the foundation that we have laid. No matter how platonic a friendship is, the mere fact that we get close to an individual makes us see them in another light. Where she may have lacked compatibility before, she has compensated in areas that we can't explain. It also provides a figure of the opposite sex to compare your new bf/gf to. I know I am not doing much in rationalizing to keep the friends, but I'm just outlining the risks. I'm still not giving up my friends...sorry. The bond of a LEGITIMATE, loving friendship, one that did not involve the backwards philosophies of our society, is far too valuable to give up for someone that came after.

*SIDENOTE* THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FRIENDS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX ACQUIRED AFTER A RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN SUSTAINED...NOW YOU KNOW YOU ARE WRONG FOR THAT LOL

SHE SAID.... now now now why the low blows.. LOL... but I NEVER SAID a man and woman cant be friends.. my point was a person that has had sexual relations.. OF COURSE the friends we have acquired along the way in life go with us forward. Knowing the risks of a male/female friendship these friends have to know boundries.. They have to respect our significant other and the relationship. NOW if you say she's just a friend and I see something CLEARLY is wrong.. like her sending you naked pics or texts that would cause me to ask what the real deal is... then there's a problem. BUT if a person truly respects your relationship then they are A REAL FRIEND.. Now... with that being said... do you go and spend a bunch of "alone" time with them? I would hope not. If you cant take your friends around your girl.. then why do you have her or them.. if the 2 cant exist in your life together then there's a HUGE PROBLEM..

NOW back to the sexual relations.. so many times guys and girls try to bring a person who they casually see, into a relationship. Oh that's my friend.. She's like a sister to me.. oh really so when did we start sleeping with our sisters? FOR REAL lets just be honest... can you honestly say that you would be ok with your g/f and potential wife bringing a man into your life that she has had sex with and now just spends "casual" time with him.. That man has been with her, seen things only her husband should see.. NOW this is not to be confused with a baby dad, father of her children, or whatever she calls him. You cant get rid of him so dont try BUT if they dont have kids together.. there should be NO reason why they should insist on keeping this person in their life. Its awkward and 8 out of 10 times there are some kind of feelings there. She knows they just use to be booty calls but now she sees him and how he acts with his girl... she's def gonna try and get that back... cause afterall she did have him first... awkward family dinner huh... *crickets...

HE SAID: Lol @ crickets. I will address these first and second paragraphs respectively.

Each woman in my life has served as significant purpose in stimulating my growth as a person, as a man of God. That makes each functional in her own right. Not to sound as if I disagree with your suggestion, only that I disagree lol. The reason it almost becomes imperative to keep our true friends separate generally lies in the very open, outspoken opinion of your gender. I can understand initial discomfort, but sometimes "she" can be so petty. Why would I want that drama? For that reason each woman exists, but coexistence may be pushing it at times. Not that I don't make the effort, but if it becomes awkward or forced on my part, I will do what needs to be done. For instance, I am friends with my best friend's boyfriend. He is a cool dude. Now if anyone had a reason to be insecure, he doesI need for two parties engaging in a relationship to be secure PLEASE!!

Regarding your second point, I defer completely. You will get no arguments from me when it comes to the sexual element. I guess I am fortunate to not have been placed in any of those situations thus far, so I have never had to have that talk with anyone. Frankly, I find that downright disrespectful to your partner because indirectly, you are suggesting that they are ignorant. Who, in his right mind, would be cool with you having a "brother/sister" that you reached an intimate level with? I guess more people than I think, or this conversation wouldn't be going on.

SHE SAID... ok.. see now I do understand where you're coming from. I do agree to a certain extent. A lot of women are caty and territorial. We dont want the thought of our man spending time with another woman ALONE. Now... if a woman cant accept your friends who are truly your friends... then she shouldn't be your woman she needs to go back to the drawing board and fix some things in herself. BUT if she is trippin on you cause she's not comfortable with you being friends with chics you use to have sex with then she's not on the wrong. YOU ARE for keeping these chics around. Now if your friends aren't ok with your chic then there's a problem.. either there's some feelings that are there you didn't realize.. OR there's something wrong they see with your chic. I'm not gonna tell my man that he has to be friends with my guy friends.. or vice versa BUT what I am gonna do is let him know the option is there. Am I gonna go out kickin it with a bunch of dudes NO I'm not that's not right. Why would I want to put my relationship in such a situation. I've been known to want to bring my guy friends around my boyfriends because for real I love them they have been there for me for a lot of stuff. If my boyfriend decides hes not gonna be cool with them that's his fault. Maybe we need to reevaluate US.

You bring up a good point about obtaining friends of the opposite sex after the relationship has started. You're wrong for that... As Christians we find ourselves witnessing to a lot of people and 2 people that come together with God as their foundation know those temptations dont go away. So dont allow yourself to get into situations that you can fall. Women tend to fall for a man that is strong in the Lord who is witnessing and ministering to them. We see pastors falling today because they got weak and spent a little too much time with a person of the opposite sex. Its really important that we have open relationships with our significant other. To be able to come to them and say look this is the situation. This girl is struggling and as a man I know it's not my place to be ministering to her I think you should do this. If she's capable. NOW if that chic walks away then you definitly know it wasn't about God it was about her flesh and she used God to get closer to you. Unfortunetly a lot of people get attracted to our anointings.

What happened to days when couples double dated? When we got together and hung out as families and had adult nights?

HE SAID: What happened? I'm not certain that I can answer that question, but the bottom line here for me is TRUST. We are speaking in terms of a foundation founded on the rock of Christ. If we truly accept that our partner is engaged in the same walk that we are, we should trust them until they prove otherwise. If they happen to prove otherwise, they have not slighted us, but they have slighted God, and HE will protect us. With that being said, don't be afraid of every situation that seems unnatural. Realize that there is a level of respect you would like when it comes to your friends, and give a reciprocal level of respect. I believe that friendship exists outside of relationships...don't prove me wrong lol.