HE SAID... A good man finally comes into your life - Taking care of you mentally. You know he is faithful, He takes you out, he respects you as a woman, he sacrefices some of his wants to make you happy, but something just not right huh ladies... Its just too good to be true huh? "The ten guys I dated before cheated, used me for my money, or he just want to spend time together after 11pm, so this new guy is wierd, I think its just too much." So what do you want from a man? What can a good man do to not be taken for granted? I have been in this situation plenty of times - I do everything a man should in a relationship, shes not used to it and decides there has to be something im hiding, break up, and sooner or later I get a call and have to sit and listen to a regret story. As a man the reason why I have no remorse is because when we dated I was all in, and when you left it killed me. Just like you ladies feel when a guy leaves you. A good man feels 10 times worse because we could easily be out running women and in todays society and we wouldnt even be frowned upon - But we give it all up for you and you leave because its too good to be true - Help me understand....
SHE SAID:... OKAY let me break this down coming from a woman who use to be this exact girl. See I didn't know how to treat a good man every single one that came along I couldn't handle him. I couldn't handle him because I couldn't handle myself.. See women put up a wall and when they do it's built of broken and bitterness. Its a wall that is hard to tear down and cant be torn down by anyone but God. BUT she has to be willing to let God bring it down. Women too often let a man affect them and how they treat others. Its a vicious cycle.. A few men come along they dog her she gets defensive and paranoid that the next one will do it.. and before he can hurt her she pushes him away... and for a lot of them they have heard every line and been down every road. Thru every situation and every game has been spit at her to the point that she has better game then a guy. Most guys aren't willing to let go of every single female he messes with because he's afraid he wont have a plan b if plan a doesn't work out and that makes a woman uneasy and unsettled. After she finally gets rid of this dog that she has allowed into her life she's mad, frustrated, broken, and unable to heal. So she quickly jumps into the next relationship and this time he's a good man, but she's still hurting from the last one because she didn't allow the time to heal so the good guy gets it used against him. He has to fight her and argue to try and prove himself and since he's tryin to prove himself she thinks he's up to something.
Women have a horrible way of breaking men down and unfortunetly breaking some of them and the result is a good man gone bad. I see it all too often... BUT the thing I also see is good men putting themselves in a situation that they clearly see that this woman is not the right one and she's clearly not ready for a relationship but because she's got a cute face and is good in bed he sticks it out. GUYS if a woman is with you and she is broken and clearly not ready for a relationship DONT STAY word of advice she cant heal with you there.. she needs the time to be alone..with GOD.. you should be her friend and encourage her not block her from healing and you being there will... I dont get it why do guys stay? Why do guys stick it out with the bad females? Why dont they see that there is someone who is going to treat them better out there and walk away.. if you're not married to her... there's no reason why you cant leave...
HE SAID: First date - I set up a picnic in a nice park - Christmas came around - I tied a promise ring to a Helium Balloon and put it in a box - When she opened it the balloon floated up with the ring dangling below - She was gone to a conference for a week and before she flew back - I snuck into her apartment and had flowers at the door step and a candle lit dinner prepared - Valentines day... She opens her door and a black poodle puppy comes running to her. I was faithful, told her she was beautiful, always provided when need be, and... im single haha. This stuff is coming from a man who had a rotation of women at U of H and I know that sounds horrible but I want to show you the things I changed and what I have grown from. Even after we broke up I read statuses like "This is the first time I have been content in awhile", WHAT MORE DID YOU WANT??? I would never talk bad about anyone I have dated in the past because that says alot about me - I chose you to be in my life and if you are such a horrible person then that reflects my choices. Women try so hard to save face in front of the friends who wish they were in your position in the first place.
Men stay in those relationships because we feel that if you as a woman has been through sooooo much with these bad men - You should know what a good man is right?? We look at it so simply. You were done wrong - Im a man who clearly wont do you wrong - You were cheated on - Im a man who wont cheat on you...etc. As a man I feel like if ten men did you wrong then you should be head over heels for the 1 man that is actually treating you right. Seems like women can only spot a bad man but couldnt spot a good man if he came up and handed you a bouquet of flowers
SHE SAID:.. A woman cant fully grasp onto a good man until she's completely healed.. A woman that constantly talks about her ex is not ready to move on. Too many women are chasing a million dollar wedding and settling for a 2 dollar marriage.. for what? To end up broken hearted..?? Most women aren't ready to put in the effort it takes to keep a good man. Most expect something in return and most women cant give it or end up feeling inadequate. It takes a true woman of God to accept and appreciate a good man of God. A lot of men have yet to spot a good woman of God because few exist and they wonder why they are constantly getting pushed away. Its the truth that our generation is so broken and bitter and most wont grow out of it. Me personally I use to give so much of me but I gave it to keep a man I wasn't giving it because it was who I am I thought if I catered to my man and gave him good sex he wouldn't leave. I was a mess I was jealous and acted crazy and thought what I did was good enough why would you ever hurt me? That's where I was and I know there are a lot of women who are like how I was but you dont have to stay that way..
HE SAID... As a man of God i learned alot through my past relationship - I learned that i am capable of truly loving a single woman without the desire to disrespect my relationship whatsoever. I learned that Im able to sacrifice on my end to see the woman I care for flourish on the other end. I saw husband like qualities in myself through my relationship, and I thank her for bringing that out of me. I would like to see women put an end to the "There are no more good men comments." We are here - and that statement is highly immature and once again reflects back on you as a person and the decisions you make. Its just that you are too focused on the man who is telling you that you are sexy vs the man who is calling you beautiful. I always say - The next time i get in a relationship will be with a woman who was busy searching for Christ and in turn Christ will send me to her.
Good discussion:) but in the end, when ones finds the love of their life you will realize that those past relationships were lessons for the big test. All those exes were just practice prior to the real thing. We have to learn to let go bc one isn't still with their ex for a reason, it may or maynot be your fault. It's just very clear that when you are single you should work on yourself and really figure out what you really want or you could be headed towards heart break. I'm sure that both of you will find the relationship you want... When God says your ready :) question... I bet your ex was a ridiculousy cute girl? She would have left eventually bc of her issues. At least you didn't have to endure a long relationship bc unless she healed, it wouldn't have lasted anyways.... I think men are too vain when it comes to how a woman looks so they fall for beauty that will fade.
ReplyDeleteIt has to do with healing plus what God has meant for your life. So many times we, as humans, are constantly looking for "the one". Maybe we're healed, but are we whole? I can be healed from past things, but if I'm not whole in God...I need to sit my tale down and let God work on me. I also have a strong belief that God places two people together that will help one another to fulfill purpose (Think about it like the body of Christ having many members doing different things to fulfill one main purpose). It's not a thing of who can make me look good, but who can encourage me and help me get to my next level when I'm at my lowest. There are so many factors that we leave out before "fall in love". The relationships we have should be pointing to marriage, therefore we have to ensure that this is the person God has absolutely meant for our life. If you are being led by God, you will know exactly who that person is when you meet them. What God joins together no man can tear apart. If its purposed by God, you won't break no matter what you go through together.
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