TRANSPARENCY

SHE SAID:... So tonight I'm sitting here and I have some things on my heart.. I cant guarantee that my co writer is going to respond. God is definitly leading this one.. most of you know and some dont about my past.. I have not always been saved.. I have not always been walking down the narrow path. I veered off and turned my back I did what I wanted to do and it wasn't about God it was about me. I have a past that not a lot of people could look passed.. BUT what I do know is that I'm forgiven. My life consists of illegal activities, sex, stripping, lust, drugs, alcohol, abortion, and divorce... WOW!!! Most will look down their nose at me like I'm some kind of lesser human.. but what I need to encourage you who needs this is... HONESTY I can honestly look at myself in the mirror and LOVE ME because I have been delivered I have been saved from the things of the world that consumed me. I can do this because I am honest.. I'm honest with everyone that asks me anything. But further more I need to encourage you to be honest with the people you are closest to. I say this because some people have said to me that they would never tell their man about their past.. BUT if that man is going to be your husband you need to realize... TRANSPARENCY is the most important thing you can be with them. If you are not honest and something comes up although they dont judge you they look at the situation that you didn't trust them enough to handle the news... Look I know you have been taught your whole life that you shouldn't tell your whole past to your man because they will use it against you.. Let me just tell you.. THAT'S A LIE the devil would LOVE for you to believe.. Trust is one of the most important things that a relationshiop must have in order for it to thrive and grow. If you cant be honest about your past you are not over it...If you cant face your past and openly speak about it.. You have no healed from it. I personally didn't think any man would ever understand my past so I ran from it I lied about it and everytime I was confronted about it I wasn't ready to face it so I kept lying about it... That is NOT a relationship you must heal no matter how scarred your past is you can overcome it.. and eventually when it's the right time and person you can tell it. God uses our pasts for his glory. Our testimonies.. our "sacred" scars.. but if you're holding back your holding back on Gods glory and if you are holding back in a relationship you're not allowing God to shine. Look I know it's hard to think about telling your boyfriend/future husband everything but if that man is truly a man of God and truly loves you there is nothing that is going to make him turn away.. it's a true test.. TRUST ME I was sitting in front of my pastor one day and I felt it was time to tell him everything with my man sitting right next to me I let it all go.. when I was done speaking my pastor looked at my bf and asked him "Did you know about all that?" With surprise in his eyes... My man looked at my pastor with complete confidence and NO judgement what so ever and said "YES!!" God had nothing but glory that day!! Although we are not together anymore thru that man God showed me I was forgiven and no matter who looks at me in judgement... they dont matter. All that matters is thru my honesty "transparency" he is being Glorified and I am being forgiven.. I cant tell you the feeling that I had that day... but I can tell you that you CAN have it.. but you have to be TRANSPARENT girl trust me if you cant be honest about your past with your man.. he is not YOUR man EVERYTHING comes to the light.. it's better if you are the one to tell him and not his homeboys, friends, family, or any other way... He will be hurt.. to feel that the one you love cant trust you with their deepest darkest secrets is a horrible feeling.. and when you're lying to your man you are allowing the devil his way into your relationship... If you never ever take any of my advice again... at least take this.. be TRANSPARENT... people will at least respect your honesty.. and when you're honest with yourself and God nobody else matters...!!!! Remember it's not about You it's always and forever will be about GOD...

I also would like to share this devotional that was sent to me immediately following the writing of my post!!! God is amazing in his ways
http://www.streamingfaith.com/index.php/prayer/devotionals/overcoming-the-enemy/

HE SAID:...I played football for U of H - Women came and women went - Didnt care who I hurt and how I effected their life - The amount of mistakes I made were countless - but one thing I can say is in my past relationship I disclosed all of them - I entrusted my partner with every Good thing ive done as well as the millions of mistakes i have made - and thats what drew me to her - her knowing my faults and still loving me for them - this is what links two people together without the action of sex - Each person knowing their partners strengths and their partners weaknesses - but my partner seemed to be flawless - no faults - no mistakes - perfect - so the connection was broken - i was tied to her because I informed her on my weaknesses and when someone knows you weaknesses you are drawn to them because you are vulnerable - and being that the only thing I was ever informed about was her strengths - she wasnt bonded to me - she wasn't tied to me - and thats why its so easy for that woman to walk away because you only gave me a resume - things that you are excellent at - As your man I wanna know your ins and outs - I want to know what makes you smile and what makes you cry - I want you to be linked to me in a honesty bond that lets me know you have invested in our relationship. Telling me all of your assets and not your liabilities isn't the way to go about it. When all these faults come to the light a man asks himself - Who are you? What else have you lied about? Can I trust you? - As a man if im able to tell you allllll the horrible things I have done - a woman should to - AND GUESS WHAT??? I will love you for it?

SHE SAID:.. see ladies.. and now gentlemen... it is so important for a relationship to work.. to not only be completely based on God but to be honest.. If your relationship grows on lies it wont last. If one of  you is completely open and honest and the other is holding back you cant move forward. Remember a lie builds a web of lies and you will constantly be looking back trying to cover stuff up and when you look back you are bound to stumble and will eventually fall. Bringing your relationship and other half down with you. Can you imagine as a woman being married for 20 years and then find out that your husband had been hiding things for years?? I know there is nothing a man can tell me that will keep me from being with him as long as he's the one that told me!! If my man can trust me enough to tell me his deepest darkest secrets that means he trusts me enough to forgive him!! I cant stress transparency enough. I challenge you today.. to go to your boyfriend, girlfriend, fiance and tell them what you have been hiding... then and only then can you move forward with clarity.. If God is truly your foundation and his glory is your focus this shouldn't be a problem because you will know without a shadow of a doubt that that other person is going to embrace your past and not leave ... if they do.. well then it wasn't what you thought it was :) I love you all.. and I"m praying for your transparency and truth!!!!!