SHE SAID... So David you're 23.. Excuse me for saying this.. Extremely blessed in the looks department.. Educated.. funny.. AND you love the Lord.. how have you managed to not get sucked into a womans bed?
HE SAID... First off, thank you for the compliments. You're too kind! I would say that the easiest place to start on this issue is my foundation. I come from a very humble, old fashioned background. I have always believed in chivalry and true love. As a kid first learning about sex, I always said that I at least wanted to be in love with my partner. When I was about 15 a youth minister at my church began conducting Bible Studies that allowed me a Biblical perspective on sex. From that point, I made a pact with God that I would wait until I was married. As you will find out, it has been a long, difficult path, but I am doing just fine.
SHE SAID... Do you date?
HE SAID... Lol yes I date. I date a lot actually. The reason I date so much is that some girls will lose interest in a guy that they know they have no chance of consummating a relationship with. Men and women thrive on sex to such an extent that it becomes a critical element in our decisions to date someone or dump them, or even more radical, to mess around with someone outside of the relationship. Sex is just such a complication!!
SHE SAID... wait HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CHEATED ON????
HE SAID... To my knowledge, I have not been cheated on. I can't say definitively that I have not, but by the same token, by not having sexual ties with any of these women, I have escaped a lot of emotional trauma associated with break ups. Thank God for that!!
SHE SAID... Have you experienced a "Jezebell" have women tried to seduce you? How close have you come to falling? What made you stop?
HE SAID... Well I am not one who particularly cares for the spotlight, so I have avoided a vast majority of the temptresses because of that. However I am a former college athlete, and we are aware of the gravitation towards enetertainers. I would like to take the blame for my near falls though. I have placed myself in some terrible situations. The only thing I could say for the fact that I didn't fall is that GOD permeated my soul and spoke through my mouth, telling them that I did not want to do it. For that, I am grateful.
SHE SAID... WOW that's respectable and admirable... especially as an athlete. People always say "You wouldn't buy a car without test driving it first"... What do you say to them? What about you.. will you really marry a woman without knowing if she is good in bed?
HE SAID... Well as far as knowing if a woman is "good" or not, I'm operating under the assumption that I won't know the difference lol. In fact, I'm almost certain that she will be the best ever in my opinion. This is just my theory, but I think that is what God had in mind when he confined sex to marriage. If each of us only had ONE sexual partner, we wouldn't have anyone to compare our partner to, thus relieving us of adultery and a large percentage of divorce. We must learn contentment at some point. Test drive a car, fine, but men and women are of far more value, and should not be treated or compared with cars.
SHE SAID... Oh so the whole the best sex is blessed sex is your theory ok ok I got you... so would you marry a woman that had already before had sex?
HE SAID... I'd definitely say the best sex is blessed sex. We try to do too much, and we try to rationalize too many things. Not sure, but I'd say God had a pretty good idea of what he was doing when he implemented these things...much better than anything we can alter and desensitize ourselves from.
I would absolutely marry a woman who has had sex before. I have no issue with one who chose not to wait, so long as she is comfortable with the decision that I have made, and has had adequate time to reflect on her past sexual encounters.
SHE SAID... what would you tell a brother that has decided to wait but thinks it's not worth the wait anymore?
HE SAID... Brothers, THE ONLY TIME YOU KNOW SHE IS THE ONE FOR YOU IS WHEN YOU HAVE ENTERED INTO A MARITAL COVENANT. LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH. We are tricked into thinking that we love someone and that it will last forever. That may be true, but it may not be true. If you want to wait for that one woman that God has for you, do not be fooled at the first sign of love. I don't have a crystal ball, but I am banking on the fact that it will be worth the wait. I advise everyone else who shares similar sentiments to do the same.
SHE SAID... Thank you David for being so open and honest about your sex life. Not a lot of men out there are willing to admit "I'm a virgin" and actually be happy or proud of it!!! Even if you are not a virgin.. it's not to late to stop having sex.. Celibacy is a beautiful thing... and I encourage you all to stop giving into your flesh and actually WAIT..!!!!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
WE'RE JUST FRIENDS
SHE SAID:... Girl stop trippin "we're just friends" "oh that's just the homie" "you dont have to worry about her she's like a sister" HOLD UP... how many of you have heard that ever so famous line? And how many of you have fallen for it? OK so she's like a sister huh? Have you had sex with her? Yes? So you expect me to be okay with you hanging out with a female that you have had sex with and I'm just supposed to be comfortable with that? Excuse me how would you feel if I just brought all my lil homies around that I've had sex with.. BUT WAIT they are like my brothers... LOL come on guys... Where is the respect in a relationship. I get it you guys have a bond... more like a SOUL TIE... please PLEASE dont bring that soul tie into our newly found relationship. OK so the question is.. CAN GUYS AND GIRLS REALLY BE JUST FRIENDS????
HE SAID: My co writer is so messy! I mean...honest, but messy. Now let's employ just a bit of honesty first. How many of us, while in a relationship, have friends of the opposite sex? *raises hand* Let me tell you why I agree and disagree at the same time. There is a group of girls in my life whom I love dearly, and no, I have not had sex with any, so this disqualifies me from the "soul ties" notion. Now suppose that I enter into a relationship in the future...should I drop the friends that I have acquired previously, just for the sake of safety? It may realistically be for the best, but it's not gonna happen lol. These girls truly are sisters to me, and while I know the risk, I am not willing to sacrifice them. The issue becomes the foundation that we have laid. No matter how platonic a friendship is, the mere fact that we get close to an individual makes us see them in another light. Where she may have lacked compatibility before, she has compensated in areas that we can't explain. It also provides a figure of the opposite sex to compare your new bf/gf to. I know I am not doing much in rationalizing to keep the friends, but I'm just outlining the risks. I'm still not giving up my friends...sorry. The bond of a LEGITIMATE, loving friendship, one that did not involve the backwards philosophies of our society, is far too valuable to give up for someone that came after.
*SIDENOTE* THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FRIENDS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX ACQUIRED AFTER A RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN SUSTAINED...NOW YOU KNOW YOU ARE WRONG FOR THAT LOL
SHE SAID.... now now now why the low blows.. LOL... but I NEVER SAID a man and woman cant be friends.. my point was a person that has had sexual relations.. OF COURSE the friends we have acquired along the way in life go with us forward. Knowing the risks of a male/female friendship these friends have to know boundries.. They have to respect our significant other and the relationship. NOW if you say she's just a friend and I see something CLEARLY is wrong.. like her sending you naked pics or texts that would cause me to ask what the real deal is... then there's a problem. BUT if a person truly respects your relationship then they are A REAL FRIEND.. Now... with that being said... do you go and spend a bunch of "alone" time with them? I would hope not. If you cant take your friends around your girl.. then why do you have her or them.. if the 2 cant exist in your life together then there's a HUGE PROBLEM..
NOW back to the sexual relations.. so many times guys and girls try to bring a person who they casually see, into a relationship. Oh that's my friend.. She's like a sister to me.. oh really so when did we start sleeping with our sisters? FOR REAL lets just be honest... can you honestly say that you would be ok with your g/f and potential wife bringing a man into your life that she has had sex with and now just spends "casual" time with him.. That man has been with her, seen things only her husband should see.. NOW this is not to be confused with a baby dad, father of her children, or whatever she calls him. You cant get rid of him so dont try BUT if they dont have kids together.. there should be NO reason why they should insist on keeping this person in their life. Its awkward and 8 out of 10 times there are some kind of feelings there. She knows they just use to be booty calls but now she sees him and how he acts with his girl... she's def gonna try and get that back... cause afterall she did have him first... awkward family dinner huh... *crickets...
HE SAID: Lol @ crickets. I will address these first and second paragraphs respectively.
Each woman in my life has served as significant purpose in stimulating my growth as a person, as a man of God. That makes each functional in her own right. Not to sound as if I disagree with your suggestion, only that I disagree lol. The reason it almost becomes imperative to keep our true friends separate generally lies in the very open, outspoken opinion of your gender. I can understand initial discomfort, but sometimes "she" can be so petty. Why would I want that drama? For that reason each woman exists, but coexistence may be pushing it at times. Not that I don't make the effort, but if it becomes awkward or forced on my part, I will do what needs to be done. For instance, I am friends with my best friend's boyfriend. He is a cool dude. Now if anyone had a reason to be insecure, he doesI need for two parties engaging in a relationship to be secure PLEASE!!
Regarding your second point, I defer completely. You will get no arguments from me when it comes to the sexual element. I guess I am fortunate to not have been placed in any of those situations thus far, so I have never had to have that talk with anyone. Frankly, I find that downright disrespectful to your partner because indirectly, you are suggesting that they are ignorant. Who, in his right mind, would be cool with you having a "brother/sister" that you reached an intimate level with? I guess more people than I think, or this conversation wouldn't be going on.
SHE SAID... ok.. see now I do understand where you're coming from. I do agree to a certain extent. A lot of women are caty and territorial. We dont want the thought of our man spending time with another woman ALONE. Now... if a woman cant accept your friends who are truly your friends... then she shouldn't be your woman she needs to go back to the drawing board and fix some things in herself. BUT if she is trippin on you cause she's not comfortable with you being friends with chics you use to have sex with then she's not on the wrong. YOU ARE for keeping these chics around. Now if your friends aren't ok with your chic then there's a problem.. either there's some feelings that are there you didn't realize.. OR there's something wrong they see with your chic. I'm not gonna tell my man that he has to be friends with my guy friends.. or vice versa BUT what I am gonna do is let him know the option is there. Am I gonna go out kickin it with a bunch of dudes NO I'm not that's not right. Why would I want to put my relationship in such a situation. I've been known to want to bring my guy friends around my boyfriends because for real I love them they have been there for me for a lot of stuff. If my boyfriend decides hes not gonna be cool with them that's his fault. Maybe we need to reevaluate US.
You bring up a good point about obtaining friends of the opposite sex after the relationship has started. You're wrong for that... As Christians we find ourselves witnessing to a lot of people and 2 people that come together with God as their foundation know those temptations dont go away. So dont allow yourself to get into situations that you can fall. Women tend to fall for a man that is strong in the Lord who is witnessing and ministering to them. We see pastors falling today because they got weak and spent a little too much time with a person of the opposite sex. Its really important that we have open relationships with our significant other. To be able to come to them and say look this is the situation. This girl is struggling and as a man I know it's not my place to be ministering to her I think you should do this. If she's capable. NOW if that chic walks away then you definitly know it wasn't about God it was about her flesh and she used God to get closer to you. Unfortunetly a lot of people get attracted to our anointings.
What happened to days when couples double dated? When we got together and hung out as families and had adult nights?
HE SAID: What happened? I'm not certain that I can answer that question, but the bottom line here for me is TRUST. We are speaking in terms of a foundation founded on the rock of Christ. If we truly accept that our partner is engaged in the same walk that we are, we should trust them until they prove otherwise. If they happen to prove otherwise, they have not slighted us, but they have slighted God, and HE will protect us. With that being said, don't be afraid of every situation that seems unnatural. Realize that there is a level of respect you would like when it comes to your friends, and give a reciprocal level of respect. I believe that friendship exists outside of relationships...don't prove me wrong lol.
HE SAID: My co writer is so messy! I mean...honest, but messy. Now let's employ just a bit of honesty first. How many of us, while in a relationship, have friends of the opposite sex? *raises hand* Let me tell you why I agree and disagree at the same time. There is a group of girls in my life whom I love dearly, and no, I have not had sex with any, so this disqualifies me from the "soul ties" notion. Now suppose that I enter into a relationship in the future...should I drop the friends that I have acquired previously, just for the sake of safety? It may realistically be for the best, but it's not gonna happen lol. These girls truly are sisters to me, and while I know the risk, I am not willing to sacrifice them. The issue becomes the foundation that we have laid. No matter how platonic a friendship is, the mere fact that we get close to an individual makes us see them in another light. Where she may have lacked compatibility before, she has compensated in areas that we can't explain. It also provides a figure of the opposite sex to compare your new bf/gf to. I know I am not doing much in rationalizing to keep the friends, but I'm just outlining the risks. I'm still not giving up my friends...sorry. The bond of a LEGITIMATE, loving friendship, one that did not involve the backwards philosophies of our society, is far too valuable to give up for someone that came after.
*SIDENOTE* THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FRIENDS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX ACQUIRED AFTER A RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN SUSTAINED...NOW YOU KNOW YOU ARE WRONG FOR THAT LOL
SHE SAID.... now now now why the low blows.. LOL... but I NEVER SAID a man and woman cant be friends.. my point was a person that has had sexual relations.. OF COURSE the friends we have acquired along the way in life go with us forward. Knowing the risks of a male/female friendship these friends have to know boundries.. They have to respect our significant other and the relationship. NOW if you say she's just a friend and I see something CLEARLY is wrong.. like her sending you naked pics or texts that would cause me to ask what the real deal is... then there's a problem. BUT if a person truly respects your relationship then they are A REAL FRIEND.. Now... with that being said... do you go and spend a bunch of "alone" time with them? I would hope not. If you cant take your friends around your girl.. then why do you have her or them.. if the 2 cant exist in your life together then there's a HUGE PROBLEM..
NOW back to the sexual relations.. so many times guys and girls try to bring a person who they casually see, into a relationship. Oh that's my friend.. She's like a sister to me.. oh really so when did we start sleeping with our sisters? FOR REAL lets just be honest... can you honestly say that you would be ok with your g/f and potential wife bringing a man into your life that she has had sex with and now just spends "casual" time with him.. That man has been with her, seen things only her husband should see.. NOW this is not to be confused with a baby dad, father of her children, or whatever she calls him. You cant get rid of him so dont try BUT if they dont have kids together.. there should be NO reason why they should insist on keeping this person in their life. Its awkward and 8 out of 10 times there are some kind of feelings there. She knows they just use to be booty calls but now she sees him and how he acts with his girl... she's def gonna try and get that back... cause afterall she did have him first... awkward family dinner huh... *crickets...
HE SAID: Lol @ crickets. I will address these first and second paragraphs respectively.
Each woman in my life has served as significant purpose in stimulating my growth as a person, as a man of God. That makes each functional in her own right. Not to sound as if I disagree with your suggestion, only that I disagree lol. The reason it almost becomes imperative to keep our true friends separate generally lies in the very open, outspoken opinion of your gender. I can understand initial discomfort, but sometimes "she" can be so petty. Why would I want that drama? For that reason each woman exists, but coexistence may be pushing it at times. Not that I don't make the effort, but if it becomes awkward or forced on my part, I will do what needs to be done. For instance, I am friends with my best friend's boyfriend. He is a cool dude. Now if anyone had a reason to be insecure, he doesI need for two parties engaging in a relationship to be secure PLEASE!!
Regarding your second point, I defer completely. You will get no arguments from me when it comes to the sexual element. I guess I am fortunate to not have been placed in any of those situations thus far, so I have never had to have that talk with anyone. Frankly, I find that downright disrespectful to your partner because indirectly, you are suggesting that they are ignorant. Who, in his right mind, would be cool with you having a "brother/sister" that you reached an intimate level with? I guess more people than I think, or this conversation wouldn't be going on.
SHE SAID... ok.. see now I do understand where you're coming from. I do agree to a certain extent. A lot of women are caty and territorial. We dont want the thought of our man spending time with another woman ALONE. Now... if a woman cant accept your friends who are truly your friends... then she shouldn't be your woman she needs to go back to the drawing board and fix some things in herself. BUT if she is trippin on you cause she's not comfortable with you being friends with chics you use to have sex with then she's not on the wrong. YOU ARE for keeping these chics around. Now if your friends aren't ok with your chic then there's a problem.. either there's some feelings that are there you didn't realize.. OR there's something wrong they see with your chic. I'm not gonna tell my man that he has to be friends with my guy friends.. or vice versa BUT what I am gonna do is let him know the option is there. Am I gonna go out kickin it with a bunch of dudes NO I'm not that's not right. Why would I want to put my relationship in such a situation. I've been known to want to bring my guy friends around my boyfriends because for real I love them they have been there for me for a lot of stuff. If my boyfriend decides hes not gonna be cool with them that's his fault. Maybe we need to reevaluate US.
You bring up a good point about obtaining friends of the opposite sex after the relationship has started. You're wrong for that... As Christians we find ourselves witnessing to a lot of people and 2 people that come together with God as their foundation know those temptations dont go away. So dont allow yourself to get into situations that you can fall. Women tend to fall for a man that is strong in the Lord who is witnessing and ministering to them. We see pastors falling today because they got weak and spent a little too much time with a person of the opposite sex. Its really important that we have open relationships with our significant other. To be able to come to them and say look this is the situation. This girl is struggling and as a man I know it's not my place to be ministering to her I think you should do this. If she's capable. NOW if that chic walks away then you definitly know it wasn't about God it was about her flesh and she used God to get closer to you. Unfortunetly a lot of people get attracted to our anointings.
What happened to days when couples double dated? When we got together and hung out as families and had adult nights?
HE SAID: What happened? I'm not certain that I can answer that question, but the bottom line here for me is TRUST. We are speaking in terms of a foundation founded on the rock of Christ. If we truly accept that our partner is engaged in the same walk that we are, we should trust them until they prove otherwise. If they happen to prove otherwise, they have not slighted us, but they have slighted God, and HE will protect us. With that being said, don't be afraid of every situation that seems unnatural. Realize that there is a level of respect you would like when it comes to your friends, and give a reciprocal level of respect. I believe that friendship exists outside of relationships...don't prove me wrong lol.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Is God In My Mate? How Can I Tell?
SHE SAID... everyday I hear women say how bad they want a good man not just a good man... they want a good Godly man.. but how many really know what traits a Godly man possesses?? Why do you want a Godly man? As a Christian woman we should want a Godly man who first loves God and doesn't put us before his relationship with Him. If the man that you find yourself attracted to has an extreme love for God, you have a really good start!!!
One sign that a man is truly a man of God is his love for the Word... LADIES.... you should be excited about a man that knows his bible.. Not only does he know it but he lives it. The bible is our tool it's our words from God to us. Instructions on how to live life. If a man knows the word he knows how to LEAD he knows that as a virtuous woman you are valuable you are precious. Oh what a wonderful union with a man that can truly LEAD and knows how to lead under authority of our Father. This man who is a lover of the word will not steer you in the wrong direction because he knows the word. He offerce correction based on the word and can show you. He also makes you want to push to know the word more and studies it with you!!!
Now if a man is not a lover of the word think of how much will be missing in your relationship. If he doesn't know the words of our Father how can he even lead you and your home? How can he know what to do in times of trials? Ladies be mindful when meeting a man. Know him. Watch his love for the word!
HE SAID: You have taken words directly from my mouth! Something to be mindful of, which I will address particularly for a Godly man, is that trap woman. Outside of Jesus, I would contend that woman is God's most wonderful, beautiful creation. As such, they realize the inherent power that they have in a dating scenario. "Can't live with em, can't live without em." Possessing such value to your Godly man, many women will come along professing a faith similar to yours. MAKE SURE TO PAY ATTENTION! If, at any given time, she appears to love aspects of the relationship more than she loves and thirsts for God, make an immediate emergency exit lol.
Wait...this is about Godly attributes huh? Fellas, as difficult as they may be, make sure that boundaries are in place for your relationship. More specifically, make sure that these are boundaries that have been agreed on, rather than boundaries that you simply imposed upon her against her will. *It sounds weird to even think of a man setting boundaries, but a GODLY man encourages them, primarily because he plans to one day be the head of a household, and he does not want to lead his special woman down a path that does not please God. If you want a woman to follow you, be someone worthy of being followed!* Back to the boundaries. Since our biggest challenges all revolve around sexual temptation, be mindful of limitations that she applies regarding the physical progression of a relationship. Odds are that if there are no physical limitations (touching, kissing, even meeting hours), THE TWO OF YOU BECOME MORE SUSCEPTIBLE TO FALL. Limitations suck, but they should be encouraged! I'm paraphrasing, but my co-writer tweeted yesterday that the things the world sees as bondage (limitations), a Christian sees as freedom. Get free yall!
SHE SAID... how amazing is my co writer I just have to give him props for standing up and telling men that boundries are a necessity. Not just necessary for the growth of the relationship but also OUR SALVATION. Ladies if a man doesn't have boundries he is more then likely willing to go all the way he's just waiting for one of those nights you stay a little longer then you should. Keep in mind the later at night we stay over at his house and the longer we stay alone with him the easier it is to fall into temptations. Kissing goes to feeling, feeling goes to well you all know what happens. Lets be Mindful of limitations and boundries that we HAVE to have! Plus in the end... a beautiful blessed marriage also includes beautiful blessed sex!!!
Now on to our second point!! A Godly man is transparent and humble. He strives for humility. One of the biggest parts of this point is how he serves. No I'm not saying a man has to be a slave come on now ladies, BUT Jesus came to the world to SERVE NOT to be served. We are to be Christ-like. Which means we need to be servants. If a man professes to be Godly but doesn't have a serving bone in his body... then the probability he is not a Godly man, is pretty high. If he flaunts his money, uses his looks, finds tithing to be a waste of his time, you need to quickly leave the situation. Ladies.. a true man of God is striving to be Christ-like daily. He doesn't hold back he's humble. meek. He isn't afraid of his past or where he has come from. He is open about his testimony. He knows that God is who brought him to where he is and isn't afraid or ashamed to scream it from the roof tops.
In being humble this Godly man is not afraid to seek Godly counsel. He knows in front of our Father on his knees is where he is going to find answers and isn't afraid to take your hand and go there. Prayer life is a huge sign that he is a Godly man. If he cant kneel with you in prayer to get through the hard stuff or even to just praise God.. GIRL RUN... he's not a Godly man. A Godly man knows his life is nothing without our KING and the only way to get to him is through prayer. He's not too proud to say he doesn't know and needs to pray. His pride isn't so strong that he wont go to God when you guys are arguing. I cant stress how important prayer is in a relationship. We talked about what foundation is your relationship built on last time and now is the time to make sure and confirm that your relationship is built on God. You do that through prayer and knowing and living the Word.
HE SAID: Aww you flatter me! I'm just speaking from experience. We all know about P31 women, Proverbs 7 warns against a particular caliber of woman, one capable of enticing us simple minded, easily arousable male creatures (sorry, but it's the truth). Stay out of that woman's bedroom. Better still, stay out of that woman's house, grasp, presence...I think yall get it. Because if you begin to lust over her, your next thought will be "might as well act on it" lol. Ok enough about the P7 woman.
"Jesus came to the world to SERVE NOT to be served." That is simple. I won't tell anyone not to enjoy luxuries to an extent, but be careful what you will do to attain these luxuries! I can almost assure you that these characters in Hollywood, as well as professional athletes, that we consider "cocky" came from some semblance of humble beginnings. Material acquisition has a way of so subtly altering our values. THIS is the reason that we should be humble, and under that same umbrella, strive for modest lifestyles as servants of the Lord.
Now that we realize the value of humility, a relationship in which you are humble and your partner is not is almost destined to crash and burn. She will have a much better shot at relaxing your values than you will of impressing yours on her. As I mentioned earlier, a Godly man or woman will not love their relationship more than they love God, and as a result, he will not seek answers to any relationship trials in anyone but God. Now that is humility. Knowing, as it appears in Galatians 6, "If you think you are something WHEN YOU ARE REALLY NOTHING, you are only deceiving yourself."
Sidenote regarding not loving your relationship more than God...when the two of you enter into a union that incorporates God in EVERY facet imaginable and your treatment of each other reflects such, you will truly be able to love your partner because you are essentially loving the Godliness that they portray.
SHE SAID... how do I even try to say anything after what you said.. PRAISE GOD.. WOW our relationships should ALWAYS glorify God!! How amazing of a feeling knowing that you're equally yoked and you both are bringing glory to our Father with what we do.. AMAZING..but LADIES dont be that woman in Proverbs 7 she is not who we should be tailoring our lives to.
BUT lets go to our third and final quality... HE IS NOT WILLING TO COMPROMISE HIS FAITH OR ASK YOU TO COMPROMISE YOURS... LADIES if he's willing to let you compromise your faith to satisfy his own fleshly desires he's NOT as Godly as you may think.... a Godly man knows his salvation is NOT worth a few minutes of pleasure. He wont ask you to sin either. I know from experience, a man who is not true to his walk with Christ is not going to be true to you.. and LADIES he's not the man for you. A Godly man wont settle knowing that what God has for him is the best. He wont settle for a woman who is mediocre in her walk with God. He wont waiver on that either... Ladies...a man who is stronger in the Lord then you could actually be a major blessing in your life. His knowledge should exite you..
A Godly man isn't as hard to find as you think.. but like my co writer said ladies.. be what attracts a Godly man... but know that you will also be desired by luke warm Christian men. Keep your eyes open. Make sure he's walking his talk. Does he open his Bible A LOT. Can he recite scriptures. Does he give you an immediate answer when you ask him why he loves God so much.. Does he club, party, and drink? Come on you know that a Godly man is not going to put himself in a place that is unholy and could cause him to fall. How is his prayer life? Does he lead you to want to know more of Jesus or are you guys skipping church on Sunday? Are you guys compromising your values just to get a "lil bit closer." Does he lack self control? How is he when he waits for the Lord to answer? Is he forgiving or is he holding onto a past that is causing him to be bitter. Ladies dont be fooled... Keep your eyes open and your hearts listening to GOD. Watch the signs Be discerning and alert! Dont let your flesh control you!
HE SAID: Nothing. Lol. Don't you hate when your co-writer is so dope that she doesn't leave anything for you to say LOL!! Shoot all I was going to say is that if he/she will cheat on God then he/she will cheat on you. Beat me to it!! Be cognizant of these questions that she just asked as well, as they can be tell tale signs. Be encouraged saints. He/she will come, just make sure that you are doing the things necessary to be ready when he/she gets there. God Bless!!
One sign that a man is truly a man of God is his love for the Word... LADIES.... you should be excited about a man that knows his bible.. Not only does he know it but he lives it. The bible is our tool it's our words from God to us. Instructions on how to live life. If a man knows the word he knows how to LEAD he knows that as a virtuous woman you are valuable you are precious. Oh what a wonderful union with a man that can truly LEAD and knows how to lead under authority of our Father. This man who is a lover of the word will not steer you in the wrong direction because he knows the word. He offerce correction based on the word and can show you. He also makes you want to push to know the word more and studies it with you!!!
Now if a man is not a lover of the word think of how much will be missing in your relationship. If he doesn't know the words of our Father how can he even lead you and your home? How can he know what to do in times of trials? Ladies be mindful when meeting a man. Know him. Watch his love for the word!
HE SAID: You have taken words directly from my mouth! Something to be mindful of, which I will address particularly for a Godly man, is that trap woman. Outside of Jesus, I would contend that woman is God's most wonderful, beautiful creation. As such, they realize the inherent power that they have in a dating scenario. "Can't live with em, can't live without em." Possessing such value to your Godly man, many women will come along professing a faith similar to yours. MAKE SURE TO PAY ATTENTION! If, at any given time, she appears to love aspects of the relationship more than she loves and thirsts for God, make an immediate emergency exit lol.
Wait...this is about Godly attributes huh? Fellas, as difficult as they may be, make sure that boundaries are in place for your relationship. More specifically, make sure that these are boundaries that have been agreed on, rather than boundaries that you simply imposed upon her against her will. *It sounds weird to even think of a man setting boundaries, but a GODLY man encourages them, primarily because he plans to one day be the head of a household, and he does not want to lead his special woman down a path that does not please God. If you want a woman to follow you, be someone worthy of being followed!* Back to the boundaries. Since our biggest challenges all revolve around sexual temptation, be mindful of limitations that she applies regarding the physical progression of a relationship. Odds are that if there are no physical limitations (touching, kissing, even meeting hours), THE TWO OF YOU BECOME MORE SUSCEPTIBLE TO FALL. Limitations suck, but they should be encouraged! I'm paraphrasing, but my co-writer tweeted yesterday that the things the world sees as bondage (limitations), a Christian sees as freedom. Get free yall!
SHE SAID... how amazing is my co writer I just have to give him props for standing up and telling men that boundries are a necessity. Not just necessary for the growth of the relationship but also OUR SALVATION. Ladies if a man doesn't have boundries he is more then likely willing to go all the way he's just waiting for one of those nights you stay a little longer then you should. Keep in mind the later at night we stay over at his house and the longer we stay alone with him the easier it is to fall into temptations. Kissing goes to feeling, feeling goes to well you all know what happens. Lets be Mindful of limitations and boundries that we HAVE to have! Plus in the end... a beautiful blessed marriage also includes beautiful blessed sex!!!
Now on to our second point!! A Godly man is transparent and humble. He strives for humility. One of the biggest parts of this point is how he serves. No I'm not saying a man has to be a slave come on now ladies, BUT Jesus came to the world to SERVE NOT to be served. We are to be Christ-like. Which means we need to be servants. If a man professes to be Godly but doesn't have a serving bone in his body... then the probability he is not a Godly man, is pretty high. If he flaunts his money, uses his looks, finds tithing to be a waste of his time, you need to quickly leave the situation. Ladies.. a true man of God is striving to be Christ-like daily. He doesn't hold back he's humble. meek. He isn't afraid of his past or where he has come from. He is open about his testimony. He knows that God is who brought him to where he is and isn't afraid or ashamed to scream it from the roof tops.
In being humble this Godly man is not afraid to seek Godly counsel. He knows in front of our Father on his knees is where he is going to find answers and isn't afraid to take your hand and go there. Prayer life is a huge sign that he is a Godly man. If he cant kneel with you in prayer to get through the hard stuff or even to just praise God.. GIRL RUN... he's not a Godly man. A Godly man knows his life is nothing without our KING and the only way to get to him is through prayer. He's not too proud to say he doesn't know and needs to pray. His pride isn't so strong that he wont go to God when you guys are arguing. I cant stress how important prayer is in a relationship. We talked about what foundation is your relationship built on last time and now is the time to make sure and confirm that your relationship is built on God. You do that through prayer and knowing and living the Word.
HE SAID: Aww you flatter me! I'm just speaking from experience. We all know about P31 women, Proverbs 7 warns against a particular caliber of woman, one capable of enticing us simple minded, easily arousable male creatures (sorry, but it's the truth). Stay out of that woman's bedroom. Better still, stay out of that woman's house, grasp, presence...I think yall get it. Because if you begin to lust over her, your next thought will be "might as well act on it" lol. Ok enough about the P7 woman.
"Jesus came to the world to SERVE NOT to be served." That is simple. I won't tell anyone not to enjoy luxuries to an extent, but be careful what you will do to attain these luxuries! I can almost assure you that these characters in Hollywood, as well as professional athletes, that we consider "cocky" came from some semblance of humble beginnings. Material acquisition has a way of so subtly altering our values. THIS is the reason that we should be humble, and under that same umbrella, strive for modest lifestyles as servants of the Lord.
Now that we realize the value of humility, a relationship in which you are humble and your partner is not is almost destined to crash and burn. She will have a much better shot at relaxing your values than you will of impressing yours on her. As I mentioned earlier, a Godly man or woman will not love their relationship more than they love God, and as a result, he will not seek answers to any relationship trials in anyone but God. Now that is humility. Knowing, as it appears in Galatians 6, "If you think you are something WHEN YOU ARE REALLY NOTHING, you are only deceiving yourself."
Sidenote regarding not loving your relationship more than God...when the two of you enter into a union that incorporates God in EVERY facet imaginable and your treatment of each other reflects such, you will truly be able to love your partner because you are essentially loving the Godliness that they portray.
SHE SAID... how do I even try to say anything after what you said.. PRAISE GOD.. WOW our relationships should ALWAYS glorify God!! How amazing of a feeling knowing that you're equally yoked and you both are bringing glory to our Father with what we do.. AMAZING..but LADIES dont be that woman in Proverbs 7 she is not who we should be tailoring our lives to.
BUT lets go to our third and final quality... HE IS NOT WILLING TO COMPROMISE HIS FAITH OR ASK YOU TO COMPROMISE YOURS... LADIES if he's willing to let you compromise your faith to satisfy his own fleshly desires he's NOT as Godly as you may think.... a Godly man knows his salvation is NOT worth a few minutes of pleasure. He wont ask you to sin either. I know from experience, a man who is not true to his walk with Christ is not going to be true to you.. and LADIES he's not the man for you. A Godly man wont settle knowing that what God has for him is the best. He wont settle for a woman who is mediocre in her walk with God. He wont waiver on that either... Ladies...a man who is stronger in the Lord then you could actually be a major blessing in your life. His knowledge should exite you..
A Godly man isn't as hard to find as you think.. but like my co writer said ladies.. be what attracts a Godly man... but know that you will also be desired by luke warm Christian men. Keep your eyes open. Make sure he's walking his talk. Does he open his Bible A LOT. Can he recite scriptures. Does he give you an immediate answer when you ask him why he loves God so much.. Does he club, party, and drink? Come on you know that a Godly man is not going to put himself in a place that is unholy and could cause him to fall. How is his prayer life? Does he lead you to want to know more of Jesus or are you guys skipping church on Sunday? Are you guys compromising your values just to get a "lil bit closer." Does he lack self control? How is he when he waits for the Lord to answer? Is he forgiving or is he holding onto a past that is causing him to be bitter. Ladies dont be fooled... Keep your eyes open and your hearts listening to GOD. Watch the signs Be discerning and alert! Dont let your flesh control you!
HE SAID: Nothing. Lol. Don't you hate when your co-writer is so dope that she doesn't leave anything for you to say LOL!! Shoot all I was going to say is that if he/she will cheat on God then he/she will cheat on you. Beat me to it!! Be cognizant of these questions that she just asked as well, as they can be tell tale signs. Be encouraged saints. He/she will come, just make sure that you are doing the things necessary to be ready when he/she gets there. God Bless!!
Monday, September 27, 2010
What Foundation is Your Relationship Built On?
HE SAID: I am all for honesty, so before you hit me with the cliche, I suggest taking some time to examine facts. An old quote that I have used in my writing, "I think we employ too much society and not enough God in our relationships." As a result of this notion, we end up engaging in unions that we should not, and we end up staying in unions that we shouldn't. Ask yourself...Does it have to do with the time invested and the potential to view this as a wasted relationship? Are we such hopeless romantics that we KNOW it will work out in the end? Or can it be tied back to the soul ties that we have acquired? As children of God, we should realize that our dating pool will NEVER be as large as others, for the simple fact that our lifestyles will not match up with the masses. We are advised in 2 Corinthians 6:14, "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?"
And if we receive these words, but feel for some strange reason that we are capable of being the one individual on earth who can weather the dating storm and change the individual that we are with, this serves as a reality check. I will be the first to say that I have ignored such advice, and it caused me quite a bit of turmoil in my relationship. I believed that she could grow to the level of faith that I had acquired, and I was wrong. It was the other way around. My partner and I weren't even having sex, but nonetheless I began to notice a change in my behavior that I know God would not be pleased with. It is much easier to live in darkness, with no rules, than it is to live a life of righteousness. With that knowledge comes the point of not being unequally yoked. Those displaying lawlessness have a potential to bring us down to their level of behavior. Be sure, before entering into uncharted territory, that you and your partner have established God as the focus of your union. "Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain." (Psalm 127:1)
SHE SAID....so many women are willing to compromise just a little bit to get what it is they have been wanting their whole lives... when I say compromise I am saying compromising their faith.. the one thing we shouldn't compromise we do. True there is a lack of "godly" men and women out there but we as Kingdom Reps have to stand strong on the promises of God. We ourselves cannot change anyone we have to first be changed and then wait for our Lord to bring us the man/woman he has intended for us.
Too often we spend our time trying to make something work with someone that wasn't meant for us. Our foundations crack and shake.. they eventually crumble and the whole time we were spending on the wrong person the "right" person has probably passed us by a few times. We spend so much time forcing something we lose focus of what is really important and that is Gods Glory. If our relationships dont first honor God then he will not honor our relationship. 9 our of 10 times we think we can change someone. That we can get them to our level of faith, but the result usually ends up being they have brought us down to their levels... skipping church, not praying, sometimes even having sex... a formula for definite destruction.
HE SAID: Soooo true! And the change takes place so gradually that we fail to realize that our once solid foundation, built upon the rock of our Lord and Savior, has been dismantled pebble by pebble, until that one pebble sends the entire house down in shambles. Now add insult to injury. Ultimately, that time that you skipped church, neglected to pray, or consummated the relationship outside the confines of God's intentions WILL NOT MAKE HIM/HER STAY. If you were the one getting them to represent your Christian values, they would be gone in a heartbeat. So why not use that as the motivation for resisting to conform to their values, for the sake of salvaging the relationship. Salvage that relationship, and sacrifice a relationship with God? No thank you! You can only make one stay who has previously decided to approach life similarly to yourself, especially when it comes to faith and religion. Resist the urge to attach yourself emotionally to those who do not enhance your walk with Christ.
SHE SAID... find someone who compliments you not supplements something missing. If we come as a whole person to a relationship and what we offer is pure we dont have to worry about our foundations crumbling because we know that God is our focus. A relationship has to be built on God first. Then and only then will it last. BUT making it last is going to take work. You will face attacks and nay sayers. You will face tempations and tests. Remember God is the FOCUS glory should be brought to him through the way we live our lives both individually and collectively. If someone is willing to compromise their salvation just for a few moments of pleasure then you should quickly run to the exit. Dont stay because they could easily talk you into it. All it takes is a look a few touches and there it goes...
Our foundations that are built on God will not crumble unless we let them!!
And if we receive these words, but feel for some strange reason that we are capable of being the one individual on earth who can weather the dating storm and change the individual that we are with, this serves as a reality check. I will be the first to say that I have ignored such advice, and it caused me quite a bit of turmoil in my relationship. I believed that she could grow to the level of faith that I had acquired, and I was wrong. It was the other way around. My partner and I weren't even having sex, but nonetheless I began to notice a change in my behavior that I know God would not be pleased with. It is much easier to live in darkness, with no rules, than it is to live a life of righteousness. With that knowledge comes the point of not being unequally yoked. Those displaying lawlessness have a potential to bring us down to their level of behavior. Be sure, before entering into uncharted territory, that you and your partner have established God as the focus of your union. "Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain." (Psalm 127:1)
SHE SAID....so many women are willing to compromise just a little bit to get what it is they have been wanting their whole lives... when I say compromise I am saying compromising their faith.. the one thing we shouldn't compromise we do. True there is a lack of "godly" men and women out there but we as Kingdom Reps have to stand strong on the promises of God. We ourselves cannot change anyone we have to first be changed and then wait for our Lord to bring us the man/woman he has intended for us.
Too often we spend our time trying to make something work with someone that wasn't meant for us. Our foundations crack and shake.. they eventually crumble and the whole time we were spending on the wrong person the "right" person has probably passed us by a few times. We spend so much time forcing something we lose focus of what is really important and that is Gods Glory. If our relationships dont first honor God then he will not honor our relationship. 9 our of 10 times we think we can change someone. That we can get them to our level of faith, but the result usually ends up being they have brought us down to their levels... skipping church, not praying, sometimes even having sex... a formula for definite destruction.
HE SAID: Soooo true! And the change takes place so gradually that we fail to realize that our once solid foundation, built upon the rock of our Lord and Savior, has been dismantled pebble by pebble, until that one pebble sends the entire house down in shambles. Now add insult to injury. Ultimately, that time that you skipped church, neglected to pray, or consummated the relationship outside the confines of God's intentions WILL NOT MAKE HIM/HER STAY. If you were the one getting them to represent your Christian values, they would be gone in a heartbeat. So why not use that as the motivation for resisting to conform to their values, for the sake of salvaging the relationship. Salvage that relationship, and sacrifice a relationship with God? No thank you! You can only make one stay who has previously decided to approach life similarly to yourself, especially when it comes to faith and religion. Resist the urge to attach yourself emotionally to those who do not enhance your walk with Christ.
SHE SAID... find someone who compliments you not supplements something missing. If we come as a whole person to a relationship and what we offer is pure we dont have to worry about our foundations crumbling because we know that God is our focus. A relationship has to be built on God first. Then and only then will it last. BUT making it last is going to take work. You will face attacks and nay sayers. You will face tempations and tests. Remember God is the FOCUS glory should be brought to him through the way we live our lives both individually and collectively. If someone is willing to compromise their salvation just for a few moments of pleasure then you should quickly run to the exit. Dont stay because they could easily talk you into it. All it takes is a look a few touches and there it goes...
Our foundations that are built on God will not crumble unless we let them!!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Soul Ties... lives tangled together.. Breaking the Unholy Ties that Bind us
SHE SAID: We are busy confusing Love with Lust... Laying down with different men and women.. allowing our hearts.. our souls to become one with someone and then on to the next when we're fed up and bored.. tired of seeing their face leaving an emptiness that cant be replaced.. yearning to find something more... BROTHERS AND SISTERS.. soul ties are REAL.
God said to save ourselves until marriage. He said it for a reason. He warns us!! When we have sex with someone else we become one with them. How many men can a woman actually become one with before she loses everything about herself? How many men must have a piece of you before you realize that you're no longer the woman God created you to be? Soul ties bind to exactly that OUR SOULS they knit together.
I personally have experienced the havoc of soul ties. So many pieces of my soul had went with others to the point that I was truly broken. I didn't know how I'd ever get back all the pieces, But in this day so many men pressure women to just do it... so many women are getting paid for it.. it's become nothing to most.. What do we have to lose? It's just sex... and our children are having sex younger and younger.. 13 and 14 even younger imagine how many soul ties that little girl will have by the time she's graduated high school. The confusion that sets in the anger the resentment towards the men who have willingly taken a piece of us as they slipped their pants on and left.
HE SAID: What a tangled web we weave...I mean it literally. We've all heard these things before, but there appears to be no better teacher than experience. I know it feels good. I know it's advertised everywhere, seen on every television program, imbedded deep in the core of the music industry, but what does God say? If we were to consider one greater character flaw than any other, it would be that we believe ourselves to be impregnable to the woes of the "average man/woman". We think every other person is susceptible to man's plight, particularly when it comes to sex. Generally speaking, we are all wired the same way as humans, and each sexual partner that we have adds a little to distorted mental make up, while subtracting from the Godly soul that we were entrusted with.
Why does God advise against sexual immorality in general, and more specifically, sex outside the confines of marriage? I would contend, though this is my opinion, that the answer can be found in the domestic violence, keyed cars, suicide, etc that stems from some sort of relationship. We fail to realize that the potential behind these relationships, though they may appear harmless, can very well prohibit us from letting go of situations that God may be trying to deliever us from. And all this for the simple fact that there now rests a bit of our soul in that individual. We are meant to be unified with one individual, that being our marital partner. Period.
Check out this amazing YouTube done on SoulTies
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPSFyZONEco
God said to save ourselves until marriage. He said it for a reason. He warns us!! When we have sex with someone else we become one with them. How many men can a woman actually become one with before she loses everything about herself? How many men must have a piece of you before you realize that you're no longer the woman God created you to be? Soul ties bind to exactly that OUR SOULS they knit together.
I personally have experienced the havoc of soul ties. So many pieces of my soul had went with others to the point that I was truly broken. I didn't know how I'd ever get back all the pieces, But in this day so many men pressure women to just do it... so many women are getting paid for it.. it's become nothing to most.. What do we have to lose? It's just sex... and our children are having sex younger and younger.. 13 and 14 even younger imagine how many soul ties that little girl will have by the time she's graduated high school. The confusion that sets in the anger the resentment towards the men who have willingly taken a piece of us as they slipped their pants on and left.
HE SAID: What a tangled web we weave...I mean it literally. We've all heard these things before, but there appears to be no better teacher than experience. I know it feels good. I know it's advertised everywhere, seen on every television program, imbedded deep in the core of the music industry, but what does God say? If we were to consider one greater character flaw than any other, it would be that we believe ourselves to be impregnable to the woes of the "average man/woman". We think every other person is susceptible to man's plight, particularly when it comes to sex. Generally speaking, we are all wired the same way as humans, and each sexual partner that we have adds a little to distorted mental make up, while subtracting from the Godly soul that we were entrusted with.
Why does God advise against sexual immorality in general, and more specifically, sex outside the confines of marriage? I would contend, though this is my opinion, that the answer can be found in the domestic violence, keyed cars, suicide, etc that stems from some sort of relationship. We fail to realize that the potential behind these relationships, though they may appear harmless, can very well prohibit us from letting go of situations that God may be trying to deliever us from. And all this for the simple fact that there now rests a bit of our soul in that individual. We are meant to be unified with one individual, that being our marital partner. Period.
Check out this amazing YouTube done on SoulTies
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPSFyZONEco
Friday, August 13, 2010
Sunday, August 1, 2010
When a mans fed up... You just dont know what you got till its gone...
HE SAID... A good man finally comes into your life - Taking care of you mentally. You know he is faithful, He takes you out, he respects you as a woman, he sacrefices some of his wants to make you happy, but something just not right huh ladies... Its just too good to be true huh? "The ten guys I dated before cheated, used me for my money, or he just want to spend time together after 11pm, so this new guy is wierd, I think its just too much." So what do you want from a man? What can a good man do to not be taken for granted? I have been in this situation plenty of times - I do everything a man should in a relationship, shes not used to it and decides there has to be something im hiding, break up, and sooner or later I get a call and have to sit and listen to a regret story. As a man the reason why I have no remorse is because when we dated I was all in, and when you left it killed me. Just like you ladies feel when a guy leaves you. A good man feels 10 times worse because we could easily be out running women and in todays society and we wouldnt even be frowned upon - But we give it all up for you and you leave because its too good to be true - Help me understand....
SHE SAID:... OKAY let me break this down coming from a woman who use to be this exact girl. See I didn't know how to treat a good man every single one that came along I couldn't handle him. I couldn't handle him because I couldn't handle myself.. See women put up a wall and when they do it's built of broken and bitterness. Its a wall that is hard to tear down and cant be torn down by anyone but God. BUT she has to be willing to let God bring it down. Women too often let a man affect them and how they treat others. Its a vicious cycle.. A few men come along they dog her she gets defensive and paranoid that the next one will do it.. and before he can hurt her she pushes him away... and for a lot of them they have heard every line and been down every road. Thru every situation and every game has been spit at her to the point that she has better game then a guy. Most guys aren't willing to let go of every single female he messes with because he's afraid he wont have a plan b if plan a doesn't work out and that makes a woman uneasy and unsettled. After she finally gets rid of this dog that she has allowed into her life she's mad, frustrated, broken, and unable to heal. So she quickly jumps into the next relationship and this time he's a good man, but she's still hurting from the last one because she didn't allow the time to heal so the good guy gets it used against him. He has to fight her and argue to try and prove himself and since he's tryin to prove himself she thinks he's up to something.
Women have a horrible way of breaking men down and unfortunetly breaking some of them and the result is a good man gone bad. I see it all too often... BUT the thing I also see is good men putting themselves in a situation that they clearly see that this woman is not the right one and she's clearly not ready for a relationship but because she's got a cute face and is good in bed he sticks it out. GUYS if a woman is with you and she is broken and clearly not ready for a relationship DONT STAY word of advice she cant heal with you there.. she needs the time to be alone..with GOD.. you should be her friend and encourage her not block her from healing and you being there will... I dont get it why do guys stay? Why do guys stick it out with the bad females? Why dont they see that there is someone who is going to treat them better out there and walk away.. if you're not married to her... there's no reason why you cant leave...
HE SAID: First date - I set up a picnic in a nice park - Christmas came around - I tied a promise ring to a Helium Balloon and put it in a box - When she opened it the balloon floated up with the ring dangling below - She was gone to a conference for a week and before she flew back - I snuck into her apartment and had flowers at the door step and a candle lit dinner prepared - Valentines day... She opens her door and a black poodle puppy comes running to her. I was faithful, told her she was beautiful, always provided when need be, and... im single haha. This stuff is coming from a man who had a rotation of women at U of H and I know that sounds horrible but I want to show you the things I changed and what I have grown from. Even after we broke up I read statuses like "This is the first time I have been content in awhile", WHAT MORE DID YOU WANT??? I would never talk bad about anyone I have dated in the past because that says alot about me - I chose you to be in my life and if you are such a horrible person then that reflects my choices. Women try so hard to save face in front of the friends who wish they were in your position in the first place.
Men stay in those relationships because we feel that if you as a woman has been through sooooo much with these bad men - You should know what a good man is right?? We look at it so simply. You were done wrong - Im a man who clearly wont do you wrong - You were cheated on - Im a man who wont cheat on you...etc. As a man I feel like if ten men did you wrong then you should be head over heels for the 1 man that is actually treating you right. Seems like women can only spot a bad man but couldnt spot a good man if he came up and handed you a bouquet of flowers
SHE SAID:.. A woman cant fully grasp onto a good man until she's completely healed.. A woman that constantly talks about her ex is not ready to move on. Too many women are chasing a million dollar wedding and settling for a 2 dollar marriage.. for what? To end up broken hearted..?? Most women aren't ready to put in the effort it takes to keep a good man. Most expect something in return and most women cant give it or end up feeling inadequate. It takes a true woman of God to accept and appreciate a good man of God. A lot of men have yet to spot a good woman of God because few exist and they wonder why they are constantly getting pushed away. Its the truth that our generation is so broken and bitter and most wont grow out of it. Me personally I use to give so much of me but I gave it to keep a man I wasn't giving it because it was who I am I thought if I catered to my man and gave him good sex he wouldn't leave. I was a mess I was jealous and acted crazy and thought what I did was good enough why would you ever hurt me? That's where I was and I know there are a lot of women who are like how I was but you dont have to stay that way..
HE SAID... As a man of God i learned alot through my past relationship - I learned that i am capable of truly loving a single woman without the desire to disrespect my relationship whatsoever. I learned that Im able to sacrifice on my end to see the woman I care for flourish on the other end. I saw husband like qualities in myself through my relationship, and I thank her for bringing that out of me. I would like to see women put an end to the "There are no more good men comments." We are here - and that statement is highly immature and once again reflects back on you as a person and the decisions you make. Its just that you are too focused on the man who is telling you that you are sexy vs the man who is calling you beautiful. I always say - The next time i get in a relationship will be with a woman who was busy searching for Christ and in turn Christ will send me to her.
SHE SAID:... OKAY let me break this down coming from a woman who use to be this exact girl. See I didn't know how to treat a good man every single one that came along I couldn't handle him. I couldn't handle him because I couldn't handle myself.. See women put up a wall and when they do it's built of broken and bitterness. Its a wall that is hard to tear down and cant be torn down by anyone but God. BUT she has to be willing to let God bring it down. Women too often let a man affect them and how they treat others. Its a vicious cycle.. A few men come along they dog her she gets defensive and paranoid that the next one will do it.. and before he can hurt her she pushes him away... and for a lot of them they have heard every line and been down every road. Thru every situation and every game has been spit at her to the point that she has better game then a guy. Most guys aren't willing to let go of every single female he messes with because he's afraid he wont have a plan b if plan a doesn't work out and that makes a woman uneasy and unsettled. After she finally gets rid of this dog that she has allowed into her life she's mad, frustrated, broken, and unable to heal. So she quickly jumps into the next relationship and this time he's a good man, but she's still hurting from the last one because she didn't allow the time to heal so the good guy gets it used against him. He has to fight her and argue to try and prove himself and since he's tryin to prove himself she thinks he's up to something.
Women have a horrible way of breaking men down and unfortunetly breaking some of them and the result is a good man gone bad. I see it all too often... BUT the thing I also see is good men putting themselves in a situation that they clearly see that this woman is not the right one and she's clearly not ready for a relationship but because she's got a cute face and is good in bed he sticks it out. GUYS if a woman is with you and she is broken and clearly not ready for a relationship DONT STAY word of advice she cant heal with you there.. she needs the time to be alone..with GOD.. you should be her friend and encourage her not block her from healing and you being there will... I dont get it why do guys stay? Why do guys stick it out with the bad females? Why dont they see that there is someone who is going to treat them better out there and walk away.. if you're not married to her... there's no reason why you cant leave...
HE SAID: First date - I set up a picnic in a nice park - Christmas came around - I tied a promise ring to a Helium Balloon and put it in a box - When she opened it the balloon floated up with the ring dangling below - She was gone to a conference for a week and before she flew back - I snuck into her apartment and had flowers at the door step and a candle lit dinner prepared - Valentines day... She opens her door and a black poodle puppy comes running to her. I was faithful, told her she was beautiful, always provided when need be, and... im single haha. This stuff is coming from a man who had a rotation of women at U of H and I know that sounds horrible but I want to show you the things I changed and what I have grown from. Even after we broke up I read statuses like "This is the first time I have been content in awhile", WHAT MORE DID YOU WANT??? I would never talk bad about anyone I have dated in the past because that says alot about me - I chose you to be in my life and if you are such a horrible person then that reflects my choices. Women try so hard to save face in front of the friends who wish they were in your position in the first place.
Men stay in those relationships because we feel that if you as a woman has been through sooooo much with these bad men - You should know what a good man is right?? We look at it so simply. You were done wrong - Im a man who clearly wont do you wrong - You were cheated on - Im a man who wont cheat on you...etc. As a man I feel like if ten men did you wrong then you should be head over heels for the 1 man that is actually treating you right. Seems like women can only spot a bad man but couldnt spot a good man if he came up and handed you a bouquet of flowers
SHE SAID:.. A woman cant fully grasp onto a good man until she's completely healed.. A woman that constantly talks about her ex is not ready to move on. Too many women are chasing a million dollar wedding and settling for a 2 dollar marriage.. for what? To end up broken hearted..?? Most women aren't ready to put in the effort it takes to keep a good man. Most expect something in return and most women cant give it or end up feeling inadequate. It takes a true woman of God to accept and appreciate a good man of God. A lot of men have yet to spot a good woman of God because few exist and they wonder why they are constantly getting pushed away. Its the truth that our generation is so broken and bitter and most wont grow out of it. Me personally I use to give so much of me but I gave it to keep a man I wasn't giving it because it was who I am I thought if I catered to my man and gave him good sex he wouldn't leave. I was a mess I was jealous and acted crazy and thought what I did was good enough why would you ever hurt me? That's where I was and I know there are a lot of women who are like how I was but you dont have to stay that way..
HE SAID... As a man of God i learned alot through my past relationship - I learned that i am capable of truly loving a single woman without the desire to disrespect my relationship whatsoever. I learned that Im able to sacrifice on my end to see the woman I care for flourish on the other end. I saw husband like qualities in myself through my relationship, and I thank her for bringing that out of me. I would like to see women put an end to the "There are no more good men comments." We are here - and that statement is highly immature and once again reflects back on you as a person and the decisions you make. Its just that you are too focused on the man who is telling you that you are sexy vs the man who is calling you beautiful. I always say - The next time i get in a relationship will be with a woman who was busy searching for Christ and in turn Christ will send me to her.
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